We Bleed (To Transform)

(Transmogrify)
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I don’t know what it is about blood. We claim it’s a bad thing yet we can’t stop bleeding. We let others wound us over and over again until gash is a foot deep into our soul. Sometimes we wound others and get wounded in the process.

We clutch tightly to barbed wires of emotional attachments and walk on the burning coals of expectations. And by the end of it when we fall on the ground profusely gushing and wounded to our core, we make promises to ourselves; never again. But as we all know, promises are made to be broken.

The wound is by now infected because you didn’t take care of it well. You didn’t suture it on time and you didn’t put the bandage when you should have. You just let it be; as a reminder of all the things you loved that ruined you.

We fall back onto bed made of thorns of disappointment, exhausted. And bleed some more. We bleed until we can’t. We ache until every muscle in our body refuses to ache anymore. We suffer until pain itself screams in pain. Until the infection has spread onto every small vein and down to our very bones. Until we find ourselves disintegrating- crumbling, decaying, withering.

But,
How else could we have become anew,
If we had not first become ashes?

A Quintessential Downfall

At first it was just one pill. Then it were two. And then it didn’t take long for two to turn into three, three into four and four into five. And soon she forgot the count of how many she took. She chewed on her bottom lip until it was raw and bleeding. She liked the pain. But then why was she trying so hard to escape it if she liked the pain as much as she claimed?

Her heart was a black hole she was slowly disintegrating into, disappearing into. Like getting lost into the oblivion of her own self. Her soul had parted from her body a long time ago. Maybe that is why it was so much easier to self destruct. To let herself fall of the edge. It wasn’t jumping off the edge that was hard.
It was the fall.
The infinite drop – a misery of its own.
The anticipation of the splat.
The sound of her shattering, crumbling, collapsing…
Reducing to rubble after imploding, exploding and smashing to smithereens.

What a demise
A dissolution of masterstroke,
A paragon unsolved,
A quintessence misunderstood,
A baffling downfall and a mystifying tale.
Finally, Coming to an end.

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A Quest Of You

(WPC: Quest )
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Let me crawl into you like a tunnel to an abandoned city.
I’ll walk down the deserted road to your heart,
with caution and measured steps.

I’ll explore the wilderness under your chest.
My footsteps echo in the empty auditorium of your rib cage,
Whispering stories of ruins and remains.

Those wild dandelions smell of cigarettes and smoke,
You are poison and beauty,
A realistic illusion to behold.

You are a little more darkness than light at the moment.
As I walk through your city of broken hearts,
Some pieces hang from the non existent sky,
While some lay scattered on the dirt path.
I step on few by mistake,
I see you wither in pain.

I apologize for the inconvenience I’ve caused,
But there is something so extraordinary,
About treading uncharted territories,
To explore places that have never been touched before.

Let me walk through forsaken forgotten relics of your soul.
I promise I’ll not leave you emptier like the ones that came before.

I’ll rebuild you from ashes,
I’ll show you how beautiful your ruins are.
I’ll graze my knees on your asphalt heart.
I’ll stand on the boulevard of your shattered dreams and lost hope,
To rebuild them from scratch.
I’ll caress your skin until you come back to life.

A Story Of A Lifetime

When did I become so dark? When did I become the thing I so deeply despised?
This crying, whining piece of meat who doens’t feel happy. This person, I hate it.

When did this happen? I didn’t even notice the change until the transition was complete and there was no way back. How did this happen? Well I probably know how or why but when.

How did I get trapped in this confusing land? This land of ragged rocks and dark holes. High dunes which I can’t climb. Deep dark murky waters in which I can’t swim. The fear of dark holes sucking me in any moment. The fear of the unknown. The fear of not finding my my way ever. It feels like I’ve been traveling there for ages. Just end less tiring walking….sometimes dragging my feet, crawling on all fours because I can barely walk. Sometimes running, so fast I can’t even see what’s going on around me, everything passing by in a blur. Some nights spent hiding in a cave of memories. Almost every night actually. This cave is so dark and scary but it keeps me safe too. I don’t have any other choice but to stay in there. I either have to re-live the memories in that cave or die outside in the cold air, chilling me to my bones, grazing my cheeks, sucking the warmth out of my body. So I have to take help of Sadness. This warm sadness that takes over me. I nestle in its warm embrace, covered in its blanket. At least its calm in here, peaceful. Unlike outside where I have to fight, struggle for survival every day. This fight draining me, every inch of my body hurts.
Especially the heart.

Oh heart! what do I do with you?
You nonsense piece of meat
If only I could rip you out of there
And keep you safe in a box,
Buried in the ground
Deep.
So no one would access it.
So I wouldn’t feel anymore.
Oh heart I hate you so so much.

You! You are the root of my every problem.
You! You make me feel things I should not feel
You! You will be the cause of my death.
You heart you !
Yes yes you !

Oh brain don’t act so innocent now.
I know you are equally responsible for my pain.
You make me overthink.
You make me think things I should not think.
You make me see things I should not see.
You have those memories that would not leave me alone.
Yes brain, Yes , You !

Seems like every part of my body is conspiring against me to defeat me.
Well good news body, I’m already defeated.
Go leave me alone now.

Leave my soul.
Let it free.
Let it fly.

I can imagine my soul leaving this land, Slowly raising..above my body..hovering for a little while. Bidding it farewell. Last goodbye. After all she was an occupant in this piece of meat for such a long time. There was obviously an un-denying connection.Body still longing for it to come back.

Body cries…Please don’t go.
Soul says but I have to dear.
You are temporary while I’m not.
Our time together has come to an end.
I’m sorry but I have to go.

As the body looks over, the soul flies away. High, high , so high….until it is nowhere to be seen by the body. Soul disappearing into the sky..Becoming one with the clouds. Dissolving into it’s mistiness.

“Ohhhh I’m free !” The soul cries with joy. She dances above the fluffy clouds, she flies past the hovering birds. Moon seems so close from up there. Soul can almost touch it.

Solace she always craved for, She has found. Away from this world.

AT LAST SHE IS HAPPY.

In response to Daily Prompt