Breakdown

Daily Prompt: Breakdown
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/10/26/daily-prompt-broken/

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Very rarely in my life did I have any kind of breakdown.
Growing up, I was raised in what you can call a dysfunctional family. Don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed to have such a great family in form of a mother, father and brothers. They are the best mom, dad and brothers one can ask for and I’m thankful to God for that. But somehow collectively, when it comes to living together we always had fights. Disagreements between mother and father, mother and brothers, brother and brother, father and brother and I was always a silent spectator to all that shit.

All I remember from my childhood is crying in the corner and witnessing the fights between them. I don’t know why we could never work out together as a family because in person all of my family members are great.

Anyways, as I was a witness to all kind of fights from the childhood, I learned to suck it up. I doesn’t mean it didn’t affect me, it has scarred me for life but I wasn’t really vocal about it.

There are only two times I can recall, when I totally LOST IT !
One time was when there was a fight between my mom and my brother. It went so far as from verbally to hitting each other. I was probably 16 then, after we were able to get them off each other, I lost it. I said things to my mom, I said things to my brother, I threw off the muffler scarf I was wearing around my neck to the ground and said I was sick of this shit, tears rolling down my face. I don’t remember all the things I said as I was out of my mind. And I strode off to my bedroom crying. (why I call it a breakdown, mind you, is because I cried in front of my family, which I never do, yes I cry about each and everything but never in front of them. They think everything is fucking fine inside of my freaking head)

The second time was more recently. About a month ago I guess. It lasted for almost a whole week. The trigger for this breakdown was a fight with my mom. I cried so much, about every little thing that happened to me since my childhood to this day. I guess I was mourning in a way. I won’t say this was a closure to all the shit but it was SOMETHING. I remembered every single thing and cried for it and Just kept crying until I was tired of crying.
After 4 or 5 days of continuous crying, I guess I kind of ran out of tears and that was it.

Nobody knew about it. Nobody knows about it. And nobody ever will.

Proceed with caution, Future Ahead!

Daily Prompt: Ebb and Flow
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/09/28/daily-prompt-life/

Our blogs morph over time, as interests shift and life happens. Write a post for your blog — but three years in the future.

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Well in the next three years I see myself becoming more beautiful than Angelina Jolie, with a figure like Nicole Kidman and hopefully not as crazy as Miley Cyrus!

Okay, All the jokes aside I do see my life becoming tough but sweet and awesome as well.

Tough with studies as medical study is not easy let me tell you…My life is going to become a living hell.
I already don’t remember what I studied in my first semester, All the arteries,veins, muscles and shit. How am i going to remember it for the next 5 years??!! (And my first semester just passed two months ago and second is going to start next week! )

Out of 206 total bones in man, the upper limb contains as many as 64 bones. (yes you heard it right! Only in upper limb which includes shoulder region, arms,hands,torso and back )and we had to memorize almost all of them, along with its muscles, in first semester. (I can hardly count 15 that i remember now). So I’m worried about what is going to happen to my mind when i reach the finish line.
Also there are 20 muscles of hand, had to rack my brains to remember their names,its origin, its insertion and its action as well as arteries, veins and nerves that pass through them.We had to memorize all of that with EVERY single muscle of the upper limb. (I almost went nuts trying to remember that shit )

So i think to myself if it is tough now, Its going to be TOUGHER ahead. So STOP ranting and deal with it (After all I choose this field on my own decision, can’t blame my parents for it just like i blame them for everything else including my bad hair, not being tall enough and small eyes !)

Though the best thing is that after 3 years my “Professional Year” is going to start, by which I mean we’ll be working for selective hours in the hospital ! (YES! with ACTUAL patients and not just with those lifeless dummies anymore)
This is the awesome part, imagining myself running around in the Rehabilitation Department of the hospital, tending to different patients.
So that is what I’ve always wanted to do in my life (before which i wanted to be a pilot, then a scientist, then a fashion designer, then a psychologist{which i still want to be} and finally i settled on Physiotherapy).

And as far as my personal life is concerned I hope I don’t shave my head like Britney Spears out of the shear pressure of my studies.

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Don’t start doing drugs(and start running people over with my car resulting in multiple DUI’s) like Lindsey Lohan.
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And most importantly don’t spin out of control like Miley Cyrus and sit naked on a wrecking ball , licking a hammer !
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(Those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about watch her Wrecking Ball video and you’ll know what I mean.)
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I think that is enough imagination for next three years !