Night Feels Like My Funeral

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(WPC: Frame )

Night feels like my funeral. The memories gather for my eulogy and I stare at the 6 ft deep grave into the darkness.

The night feels like my funeral. The somber atmosphere, the stillness in air, the moon hides behind clouds trying to disguise the sorrow it feels for me today.

The sky does not shine with stars, they quietly fade into the background. The sky sprawls above me, solemn. So does the earth beneath my feet, grievous. They both are quiet.

The wind too it seems, knows about my slow demise. It has ceased, to give me a moment of silence. The time seems to standstill. The only thing I can hear is the sound of my heart breaking. Tearing apart fiber by fiber. Crippling under the weight of my heavy chest. I feel it slowly disintegrate.

Disarmed. Slowly fading.

The night feels like my funeral. I hope to someday rest in peace.

Unlike these nights that only feel like my mourning.

________

(Side Note: I’m starting a series of password protected posts soon. If you wish to read please leave your email address down below in the comment or contact me at mine. I’ll send you the password which will remain the same for all the coming posts of the series. Thank you. )

State Of Mind

She was laying on bed in the dark, the quietness of the night was absorbing her silent screams successfully. The only sound was coming from the wall clock ticking by in rhythmic unison with her heart beat thumping dramatically in her ears. She stared into nothingness- she didn’t know how much time passed by as she silently struggled to keep her thoughts at bay.

Her skin was itching from the inside- something wanted an escape. She rubbed and crossed her feet together in agitation. The struggle with her own self  was becoming violent with each passing second.

Struggle. Struggle. Struggle.

Her mind was being pulled into million different directions. Every direction worse than the other as she struggled fervently to escape.

Escape. Escape. Escape.

Where to go?
Where to run?
The day will soon come,
Followed by the same demonic night with stealth and burning red eyes.

Her soul! Her soul! Her soul!

Somebody.

Help.

Oh.

Gone.

The battle is lost.

Oblivion Over Chaos

Night

For now there is no victory.

Night is where the serenity lies, Where the quiet seems to stretch on forever and ever. Where I’m away from all the chaos. Where I get to forget about everything, close my eyes and drift away.

I get to forget. Everything.

For a moment everything seems to have settled. I wish it could stretch on forever.

Some say they fear oblivion but I’d rather stay in this oblivion of the night than face the dread that comes with the day. Nothing can happen in the night as I sleep. Nothing.

I get to disappear and forget. It’s the place I’d love to stay. Just sleep and never wake up. For the day brings with it chaos, misery and pain. And I can’t, I can’t take it anymore. For the day reminds me that the other shoe will always drop, that happiness isn’t a target I can nail. I don’t get to do that. I get nothing. Nothing.

And I’m afraid I won’t be able to catch myself if I fall. I can’t fall now. I can’t. I just can’t. When it took me a long time to get back up, piece by piece slowly I picked myself up with every ounce of strength and every ounce of what was left in me- I gave it my all. And I’m afraid I’ve nothing to give now. Nothing. Nothing at all. So I can’t fall now. I can’t. This night needs to stretch on forever and ever and ever. I need to sleep and never wake up.

I’d rather choose this oblivion over that chaos.

This will be my last post for a little while. Going on a 
short break, See you all soon. 
Much love <3

Tonight.

The club lights were dancing, throwing patterns over the lost youth…vodka, whiskey, scotch, bourbon, tequila, crack cocaine, ecstasy, meth, amphetamine, roofies…you name it and you shall have it, with money of course. And she had enough to buy the whole club itself. She had tight black leotard on with sky-high heels, hair teased giving a rough yet sleek look, Black Kohl filled eyes masking the red in her big brown eyes and fiery red lips ready to devour whatever came her way. Despite of trying her best to look like just another trashed slut with daddy issues, she ended up looking the exact opposite.

Tonight she was going to drink, everything and anything that she could find on the shelf. She didn’t know what for or why so, all she knew was that there was something she needed to forget. Something that needed to be numbed. Too many things that need to be numbed.

Tonight she was going to drink and give life a middle finger on its face and walk away. Life was cruel too many times, while kind too less. And so she drank. That was the only thing she was good at apparently. She drank her sorrows away knowing all too well that she would regret it the very next day. But she drank anyway since life was not as easy to live as they said.

Like it’s in our control while we stumble and fall into ditch of unfathomable sadness. She drank and watched as the world crumbled around her feet. Tonight she was on a mission to destroy. She wasn’t sure what yet. The music was blazing and people around her were slavishly grooving to it like wild animals but all she saw were humans, lost…completely and utterly lost. Astray. Just like her.

For a moment she wanted everyone to disappear but the music and the dance floor and she imagined herself dancing lonely to it. She didn’t know how much time passed by as she wandered around in her imaginary world. She then lit a cigarette and imagined it all go down in flames.

She drank and drank until she was sure she wouldn’t remember a trace of tonight and all the thoughts it contained, the next morning.

Lest the morning came. Lest.

(The original song is only till 5:25 in the above link.This is one of my most favorite song. You can check out the music video for this song HERE. It’s worth it.)

Night Drive

Weekly Photo Challenge: My Inspiration

Night Drive

I love traveling at night.. Watching lights in the distance like stars in the sky. It has its own beauty compared to traveling in the day. Something so cathartic about staring into nothingness and occasional night lights. The sky is never pitch black, it has this gray purplish hue, sometimes taken over by pink at the horizon.

Right now I see thunderstorm In the distance as sky lits up in white with every strike of lightning. And the summer air grazes my cheeks and the wind dances with my hair.

Something so poetically beautiful about the night.… I sigh watching the infinite vastness of the sky.

Night has something to say.. So I listen carefully to its silence, the message it’s trying to convey.

I rest my head on the side of the window…watch the road pass by…with it minutes, hours and…my life.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Nighttime

I took this photograph last winters when my friend and I went for a little walk outside in the rain. We drank some hot soup on the way too. It was a pretty memorable night for me. ^_^

P.S I had to look long and hard to find this. This is the only nighttime photograph I could find so gotta go with this.
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