Well Well Well….

Uhem *Clears Throat*
tumblr_static_hello_-_the_masterAnybody there?!
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So, Uhem, What’s up Ladies and Gents?!!
tumblr_lvtqujHmBv1qjabl6o1_500I know I know, What are y’all thinking…Yes, I’m alive. Barley made it out from the other end but yeah alive.

So where was I all this time?

*scratches head*

Wellllll….I wish I had a perfectly good explanation for it…I sat here thinking for the longest time to come up with a perfect explanation but there isn’t any, to be honest. Or maybe there is I just can’t put it to words. I just needed time and space to clear my head, or so I thought. One day I just decided to get away from everything connected to this blog, any related accounts, everything. So I did. Why I didn’t inform beforehand? Well I just came out from hiatus like what? A week or two ago from this? It just felt inappropriate to go again and make a big deal out of it all. I challenged myself to be away for one week only, just to set a realistic goal, then I found out I can do this so it just extended as finals came up and now how long has it been? One month and 20 days? Well who was counting anyways *Puft*

I can say I had final exams, but those were way later in the start of February, January was a whirlwind too. I didn’t expect 2015 to be awesome or good to me, All I wanted was for it to be better than 2014 at least. Guess what? It proved to be way more shittier than 2014 and it’s just the start of the year. Hah! What can I say…JUST-MY-FUCKING-LUCK ! -_-

(This post is going to have shit load of sarcasm because that’s how I feel since my life has been unicorns shooting rainbows out of their assess since the day this year started, please notice the happiness dripping out of my words! ^.^ )

So did this break from blogging do me any good? Aiiiinnnn, Not so much. I’m stuck right where I was before, same old same old. Except now I have some more shit for me to whine about here. Hola!!! SO EXCITED -__-

Screaming_internallyLet the whining begin:

I worked my ass off for finals. I think it’s safe to say I haven’t studied so hard in my life before. I’m used to sacrificing my sleep for exams, but usually that’s just a week before the exam and during the exam season but this time around I started prepping three full weeks beforehand. I swear to God sitting from 3 am to 6 pm and onwards continuously in the same spot studying like you are a donkey for so many weeks is such a great feeling! Like honestly I wouldn’t even believe myself but time flies by when you sit with a course book in front of you at 3 am with so much to study and suddenly it’s 6 pm and whatt??!! I have been sitting at the same fucking spot for so long??? I have developed acute lumbar back pain which I’m sure is ready to turn chronic If I don’t start taking care of it.

Not to mention the compliments I’ve gotten on my dark circles, “Hey your Mascara/Eye Liner is running down your eyes”

Me: *Looks in the mirror* And to my absolute horror, “Oh These….are actually my dark circles.”  That is how deep they have impinged themselves on my face that now it seems like makeup has run down my eyes. Another awesome feeling to have! #SoGrateful! :’) (Girls, any good concealers you are willing to recommend here would be of great help 😉 )

Just a week before my finals were about to start, I got ghastly sick. I have never been this sick in my life before. Either it was my mental exhaustion taking a physical toll on me or someone did voodoo on me for sure. Also I got to know how fucking great it feels to throw up. Believe it or not I had not vomited since I was very very little, totally forgot how It felt, but hey life was like “what, you forgot? Puft, Let me remind you bitch” So then that started. (Well it was partially my fault, took a heavy antibiotic with an almost empty stomach. In my defense, I said ‘Almost’ not completely empty.)

What? You think it ends there? Oh no that was just the start of my health decline graph. As I have never been so sick in my life before, let alone during exams, and that DURING FINALS, I just could not afford to be sick, I had no choice but to keep studying, no adequate rest and shit so I had to take bunch of pills to keep myself going. I had not taken so many pills in my life before as I had to take in one go at one time during the day in the past few weeks. Couple of 650 mg’s antibiotics against fever, cold, sore throat and whatnot. Then just a day before my Biochemistry exam I had severe respiratory congestion. #FeelingBlessed :’)

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But hey you can’t die since you have exam the very next day ! 🙂

I could not breathe and I totally thought I was gonna die or worst not being able to give the exam the next day which I worked so hard for. Anyways I did give the exam somehow, To be honest it’s still a little blur though, Just between you and me,  I think it’s because I was a bit high from all the pills.

So what I have ended up with is a gag reflex of a two years old. My Gag reflex has become so strong I can throw up on a drop of a hat now, like seriously.  Oh and what a marvelous feeling it is to have experienced after so long and so frequently now! Just like oozing out rainbows ! Yaeyyyy for that! \o/ #SweetLife -_-

So throughout this time I was bound to have number of mental breakdowns which I would categorize as follows:

#1 Absolutely Out-Of-Hand Emotions

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Absolutely Out-Of-Hand Emotions

#2 Questioning the Higher Providence

Questioning the Higher Providence

Questioning the Higher Providence

#3 Stage of Acceptance

Stage of Acceptance

Stage of Acceptance

#4 The most Dangerous of them all: Meredith Breakdown!

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Still stuck on this stage.

Oh and that’s only tip of the iceberg shit that happened during the time I was gone. I’d rather skip the other shit filled details in my life that happened along the way, they are not half as fun to write about. So in a nutshell I’m completely and utterly, physically, more so mentally exhausted by now.


THE BEST THING THOUGH:

I opened my blog after so long aaaaaaaaaaaandddddd
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A huge thanks to  Jithin, Nad , Rob, Upasana for checking up on me while I was away by leaving such sweet and concerning comments for me to read when I came back.

Trent, Thank you for buying Chords of Life and updating me about it!

Saadia, thank you for the Real Neat Blog Award.

Thankssss to Maryam, for joining me on my blogging journey and leaving so many beautiful and heart warming comments. Welcome to all the other new readers who have joined in and followed. I’ll meet you up on your blogs soon ❤

A special thanks to Maria, Bhakti and Kruti for keeping me sane and as a constant support behind the curtains.

There are so many comments I have got to reply to, Just let me get back on my blogging feet, I’ll reply soon and start catching up on what you guys have been up to on your blogs as well! It’s not entirely possible for me to catch up on each and every one of your posts since the past month and more, so please feel free to leave a link to any of the old posts you might  want me to give a read, I would love to check them out!

I hope you guys would forgive me for this unannounced break. See ya soon ❤ ❤

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Don’t forget I LOVE YOUUUU all…!!!

A Dark Place

Hello my people !!!
I’m back just as I promised but not in the same state of mind, I’m sorry to say!

Mid-Term exams are finally over, To be honest they have been over for about three days now but I didn’t feel like writing or reading or doing anything for that matter, I can’t explain to you how much mental and to some extent physical strength I had to muster to write just this one post.

I’ve had a bad couple of weeks. A lot of changes happened in such a little amount of time that even I have a hard time comprehending how it all changed. My exams went “OKAY” (meaning: Not that good) but I’ll live. My very good friend had some serious health issues which shook me very badly. One of my most favorite actor Paul walker, who I grew up watching died suddenly and unexpectedly in a car crash, You might know him from his role in Fast and the furious film series. He was my very first (and will always be) celebrity crush honestly speaking. 2 Fast & 2 Furious was the very first English movie I ever watched. Me and my older brother used to watch this movie every weekend when I was 9 or 10 years old. I of course didn’t know him personally but he always occupied a part of my heart so I’m extremely sad and shocked over this tragedy.  This is the first time I’m truly  touched and affected by the death of celebrity. Here’s a video as a tribute to Paul.

And then there is a serious problem with my mental state. A.Very.Serious.Problem.

I’m seriously considering to stop blogging or maybe take a long break until I’m finally feeling like myself again. I’m fine physically but mentally I’m a mess. I’m broken into million pieces and I feel confused due to gazillion reasons. So overall I’m not feeling good. I’m not ready to talk about it on this forum YET. But maybe I’ll get there someday.

Also my studies are getting harder with each passing day, My Mid-term exams are just over but our Final exams date sheet is already up. So finals are after almost a month.

Thank you and welcome to my new awesome followers who found my random blog worthy enough to read. The same goes for my dear friends who are already a part of my word press community. I can’t say it enough, I love you all ! ❤

This song portrays my present state of mind, if not exactly, then at least quite well. Also the video of this song contains a great message so it is worth sharing.

Here are the lyrics to this song:
“Demons” by Imagine Dragons.

When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold

When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood’s run stale

I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There’s nowhere we can hide

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

Curtain’s call
Is the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawl

So they dug your grave
And the masquerade
Will come calling out
At the mess you’ve made

Don’t wanna let you down
But I am hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don’t wanna hide the truth

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

They say it’s what you make
I say it’s up to fate
It’s woven in my soul
I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can’t escape this now
Unless you show me how

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

Addiction

Daily Prompt: Can’t Get Enough
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/10/09/daily-prompt-addicting/

Have you ever been addicted to anything, or worried that you were? Have you ever spent too much time and effort on something that was a distraction from your real goals? Tell us about it.

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Who hasn’t been addicted to anything in their lives?
I’ve been addicted to a long list of things in my life (not to drugs or anything like that thankfully). And because daily prompt asked us to share it, I’ll shed some light on my minor addictions.
So here we go:

One time when I was little…okay not THAT little but just enough to be called little(if you know what I mean)
I got obsessed with making myself tall, so I started drinking a lot of milk…once I drank the whole carton in heat of the moment but ended up with very bad stomach cramps and vomiting everything out. Due to which I despised milk for a long period of time. Sorry Mr/Mrs. Cow !
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Then there was a time when I was addicted to American Idol (Those glorious times when Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell were in the judges panel) . Even in my final exams I wouldn’t miss it. (My exam would be the very next day but still I didn’t use to miss its episode for anything in the world.)
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Everybody is addicted to Facebook these days…So I WAS as well…but to be honest after I found word press I’m not just into it anymore. But before that I would sit for hours on it, day would turn into night, Justin Bieber would have a mustache, Taylor swift would have a new boyfriend but I wouldn’t care. This is the most common thing that happens to us students in case of Facebook addiction:
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(Just so you know FACEBOOK “ALWAYS” WINS ! )

I was and I am still addicted to dramas…I watch so many seasons that I have to make a list in my mobile to remember them all and write their airing days with them so I don’t miss their latest episodes. On this addiction monitor, I don’t LIKE them, I don’t just WANT them, I don’t really NEED them either…..I’m at “CRAVING” level ! (I simply can’t survive without them)
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Then there is the most common addiction ever and which is the root of almost all the above mentioned addictions, it is INTERNET !!!
This is exactly how it is:
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This is “ALL” of us when Internet is not working..just admit it please!
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This is the huge BARRIER between me and my real life goals:
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Google suggested this cure for the Internet and computer addiction:
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But I’m not really addicted to it , I’m I ???

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