Mountain & You.

One Word Prompt: LEAP/LONGING.

I stood at the edge of the mountain, a mind blowing view in front of me as the clouds rolled by and I could see almost everything in the distance. It was as if I’d become one with the sky, it was as if I’d reach up I would touch heaven above. Everything was so perfect yet all I could do was miss you. I screamed from atop, your name, it crashed with the mountains and valleys below and came back with the message that you were gone. All I wanted was for clouds to wrap me up and float towards you. All I wanted was to leap from mountains to mountains and somewhere in between find you. All I wanted from the wind was to carry your scent. Such massive beauty in front of me but all I could think of was you. And in that moment I swear the mountains moved… as my heart quivered in longing towards you.

 

Nature and Love

Quote of the Week
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 Song Of The Week

Now last but not least for this week’s photo challenge I’ve chosen this photograph. It might not look like much but it was a really frightening yet adventurous experience at the same time, where we truly got to see the force of nature. My friend and I got a chance to explore these Ruins of an old abandoned Hindu Temple. It was already cloudy but the rain had stopped for a little while just enough for us to go wander about the ruins. But nature played us. As soon as we got in the heart of that huge creepy place it started raining cats and dogs, along with thunderstorms. We had no umbrella either. It was getting dark too. And let’s admit running around an old Hindu temple alone wasn’t the most preferable place to be at that point in time with no other person on site. So we ducked beneath one of the structures in the ruins waiting for the rain to stop (While praying something or somebody won’t attack us) and this is when I took this picture. You can see the rain drops on the photo as the darkness surrounded us.

All I gotta say now is: Well played nature well played!Force

(A little side note: I know I’ve been away for a while so hadn’t had a chance to visit your blogs and see what you’ve been up to. I will try to catch up with you guys in the coming days. Thanks for sticking up with me. Love, Zee.)

Finally….

I thought I could build barricade for my words, conceal them, imprison them, hide them. But boy oh boy was I wrong. The words were too strong for any barricade to hold. They demolished the high rise walls of my insecurities and flowed with high tide of emotions, crashing mercilessly against the paper. The thoughts that were held captive for far too long, broke to their freedom in a magical moment of catharsis,finding their release out from my restless fingers. Finally, the freedom they always craved for, was granted to them and my aching heart was set free.

Get Lost. Get Found

All of us get lost…somewhere, at some point in our lives. We all hope to be found, by someone, by anyone.

We all get lost, sometimes deliberately. Hoping someone would be brave enough to come find us. We hide in the places only we know. And we leave behind clues for people to come find us. But not everyone can figure out those clues. We get lost and hope that someone, somewhere would miss us and come looking for us, venture after us to bring us back home. That is how some of us validate ourselves. We get lost deliberately hoping to be found. That is what some of us do to feel loved. To feel needed. To feel wanted. We get lost.

And all we can do is, pray to dear God, that someone would love us enough to bring us back.

We get lost to get found.

Fresh from the backyard today.

Just A Dream

I have these dreams….
Where I’m running..running and running…Away from something…someone. I don’t know who or what.

All I know is I’m running for my life. To save myself.

I’ve had these same dreams since my childhood, since I can remember I’ve had it. Me running from someone, someone following me but the interesting part is I never get caught. Never.

Same dream over and over again just the scenarios are different now. It’s around the same area. I’m running either around my childhood home, the area surrounding it where I grew up climbing walls, trees and what not.

Or the area where I’m residing now. Or the area between my old and new home.The area never changes. It’s never the unknown. I always know where to run where to go.

When I was little, they were plain and simple, someone trying to catch me and me running for my life in a simple street around my old house. Now they have become much more complicated, The area where I’m running has expanded. Maybe now my subconscious knows of more area so it’s between my old and new house. They are not very far. 10 minutes drive tops. Sometimes it’s not just me there are some random people running with me too.

These are not nightmares. I won’t call them as nightmares. It doesn’t mean I don’t wake up scared, my heart beating fast, disoriented but aren’t nightmares suppose to be……I don’t know much worse? Where you wake up screaming?

After spending 14 years in my childhood house, we shifted to this new house. In my 14 years in that house since I can remember I’ve had those dreams. Same thing over and over. When we shifted to the new house they kind of stopped…or I think they did. We’ve been here for 5 years now. The dreams started again last year

Now the dreams are much more…grand I would say. As I said now the area has expanded, between the area of my old and new house. I’m running… I can’t get the running out of my head. The fear. The anticipation.
I’ll have to admit the dreams are sometimes exhilarating ! I wake up and adrenaline is pumping through my veins but it is frustrating. Sometimes I feel physically and mentally exhausted. Why I was compelled to write about it after all these years was because I’ve had these dreams in succession since 3 days. Today was exceptionally different as when my eyes opened suddenly, my heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode out of my chest. It was as if I’d run a mile or two in reality. .My heart was literally hurting from beating so fast.

I’ve never mentioned my dreams to anyone except just once to my best friend. She took it to more spiritual side and said maybe it’s some evil following you but the fact that you never get caught is it means that evil can’t get to you. You are safe.

I don’t understand why do I have these dreams? Do other people have it too? The running thing? Or is it just me? I think it is somehow connected to my childhood. I don’t fully understand or understand it at all but I would like to know….I really want to know why I have these dreams. Is this even normal? Or am I going fucking crazy?

No More.

One day I will die and all that would be left of me would be an echo. With time even that would disappear.Some will hold few memories but even those would dissipate with time. And all that would be left of me in this world will be nothing but a name who once existed…but no more.

In response to Daily Prompt

Courage, Dear Heart.

Tonight…I don’t want to sleep. It’s just one of those nights. I just turned off the lights and all I want to do is write. It’s raining outside. The rhythmical thumping of the rain drops against the pavement , The sad calmness in the air….It’s oddly comforting yet stirring something deep inside that makes me ponder life. I just want to sit and stare into the darkness, as my eyes well up God knows why. A part of me wants to go to sleep while a part of me wants to stay awake to let my thoughts scream.

So I let them…

I let them splatter upon this paper. I let them cut me deep and leave me to wallow in my misery. I let them do whatever they want to me. That is how I let them hurt me. Or is it to heal me? It’s a very thin line so to speak.

It’s just one of those days…one of the many actually.

But it shall pass too. Until next one arrives to shake my soul, rattling me to my bones, inflicting wounds.

Courage, Dear Heart’, is what they say. So that is what…It shall do.
__________________________________

*Today is going to be a circle of one.

Running

Running
Bare feet
In scorching heat
Clutching a teddy bear
Crying…
Her feet against the hot pavement
Sun blaring above her head
She ran
Away…
Trying to find her way
Running…
Slid besides a gate
Her back to a cement pane
Crying…
For how long she doesn’t have a memory
Until someone found her
Took her by hand
Back to home
Begins the cycle again…

*In response to Today's Daily Prompt.