We Bleed (To Transform)

(Transmogrify)
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I don’t know what it is about blood. We claim it’s a bad thing yet we can’t stop bleeding. We let others wound us over and over again until gash is a foot deep into our soul. Sometimes we wound others and get wounded in the process.

We clutch tightly to barbed wires of emotional attachments and walk on the burning coals of expectations. And by the end of it when we fall on the ground profusely gushing and wounded to our core, we make promises to ourselves; never again. But as we all know, promises are made to be broken.

The wound is by now infected because you didn’t take care of it well. You didn’t suture it on time and you didn’t put the bandage when you should have. You just let it be; as a reminder of all the things you loved that ruined you.

We fall back onto bed made of thorns of disappointment, exhausted. And bleed some more. We bleed until we can’t. We ache until every muscle in our body refuses to ache anymore. We suffer until pain itself screams in pain. Until the infection has spread onto every small vein and down to our very bones. Until we find ourselves disintegrating- crumbling, decaying, withering.

But,
How else could we have become anew,
If we had not first become ashes?

Let’s Make A Change

(WPC: The SunShine )

“Let me tell you something: no one is going to look at you, broken and shattered 
and think -
damn, you are beautiful.
No one is going to come pick up your broken pieces off the floor and
 assemble them into a beautiful whole.

Hell,
 you won’t even look at yourself and think – 
I made broken look beautiful.

You know why?

Because all those writers lied to you.

Yes, 
all those with their poems of scraped knuckles and 
blood dripping down chins, 
pomegranate songs and loves that ripped through you like 
hurricanes.

Liars.

So you and I, 
we are going to make a plan.

You are not going to romanticize days when your brain tells you to smash that mirror,
You are not going to romanticize the lover who doesn’t understand you 
but still writes about you.

Here is what you are going to romanticize instead:
You are going to romanticize the first day of spring,
Its gentle hands all over your body,
Lifting you up until you are as light as a feather.

You are going to romanticize the tea and honey kind of love,
No hurricanes, 
but sunshine that builds you up from within,
That helps you make it through the worst days.

You are going to romanticize gentle hands of a friend 
in yours,
Telling you that it is going to be okay.

Because it is.

And don’t trust poets, 
we’re no good,
 we love pretending that our jagged edges tantamount to a beautiful disaster, but in reality – 
there isn’t nothing beautiful about shaky hands holding a cigarette and 
empty eyes staring at the cracks in the walls.

You know what is beautiful, instead?

The days when you can look at yourself in the mirror and smile, 
scars and all.
Music that makes your soul flow like a river, 
books that offer comfort, 
families flocking together like overgrown birds to keep you safe and warm,
 friends that give you strength when you can find none, 
lovers who make you laugh through tears.

Baby, 
from now on 
you are going to romanticize healing;
Honey dripping down your fingertips,
August nights that stick to your skin, the day you find your purpose, 
long car rides and singing so loud that no one can shut you up now.

Bad news: 
no one is coming to save you.

Good news: 
you can save yourself.”
– Lana Rafaela (via wnq-writers.tumblr.com)

( Daily Prompt: Millions )

Moon, Ocean and Her

(Weekly Photo Challenge: H2O )
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She dipped her toes in the water to check the temperature. Today the water was warm, not as cold as the other nights. So inviting. So perfect. Ocean spread in front of her endlessly, her eyes gazing into infinity, catching nothing but darkness and with it moon- lit like the last flame after the candle has almost completely burned.

Waves, oh the waves. She heard them calling her name, in the far distance. Enchanting. Dancing. Welcoming.

She sat on the steep rock, her toes still dipped in the water.

Wind, oh the wind. She felt it embracing her. Seeping into her bones, sending chills down her spine. Hair at the nape of her neck deliciously stood at its touch. Enveloping her being.

But the moon, oh the moon. She looked up, was silent today. She was expecting it to beg and plead. But there it was, as quiet as the infinite space surrounding it. She’d be lying if she said it didn’t hurt her. Moon and her had a thing, or so she thought. Her heart fluttered, her stomach churned as she kept gazing at it, as if somehow it would break its silence. The water was now up to her knees.

“So we are doing this huh. I see. You are not going to say anything? After all this time. Nothing?

Well no problem…I have a lot to say tonight anyways. Or would you rather have me quiet and say nothing?”

The water rose upwards about an inch, from her knees to her thighs.

“Hmmm, so silence it is then.”

She laid back on the steep rock, looking up at the sky. Mapping out stars, in hopes soon there will be one of hers up there among constellations too- hopefully closer to the moon.

The water was soaking her back now, it was rising fast. She smiled, as bright as the moon itself. So heartily that for a moment stars dimmed their lights to let her shine. She knew. She just knew; The moon wanted her too. And that was the whole truth.

In that moment, peace came. A tear as heavy as the gravity itself fell down her face. Carrying more pain than salt in an ocean itself.

The tide came & took her away,
Orchestrated by the moon,
For it wanted her too.
And so that,
It proved.

A Quest Of You

(WPC: Quest )
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Let me crawl into you like a tunnel to an abandoned city.
I’ll walk down the deserted road to your heart,
with caution and measured steps.

I’ll explore the wilderness under your chest.
My footsteps echo in the empty auditorium of your rib cage,
Whispering stories of ruins and remains.

Those wild dandelions smell of cigarettes and smoke,
You are poison and beauty,
A realistic illusion to behold.

You are a little more darkness than light at the moment.
As I walk through your city of broken hearts,
Some pieces hang from the non existent sky,
While some lay scattered on the dirt path.
I step on few by mistake,
I see you wither in pain.

I apologize for the inconvenience I’ve caused,
But there is something so extraordinary,
About treading uncharted territories,
To explore places that have never been touched before.

Let me walk through forsaken forgotten relics of your soul.
I promise I’ll not leave you emptier like the ones that came before.

I’ll rebuild you from ashes,
I’ll show you how beautiful your ruins are.
I’ll graze my knees on your asphalt heart.
I’ll stand on the boulevard of your shattered dreams and lost hope,
To rebuild them from scratch.
I’ll caress your skin until you come back to life.

Edge For You

(Edge: WPC)

There are days when even the earth spins with more sorrow and even the sky bleeds. I see it in your eyes, the anguish. You look away, trying to save me from it cuz you know I can always tell and that I will come running to share it with you.

I know there are nights, cold December wind chilling to your core adding to your suffering. I will be warm for you, I will cover you up. I will color your bleakness with what little shades of me I have left. I’ll cuddle you in and envelop you in my love.

There will be days and there will be nights. The one in between your smile and frown, in between your sadness and happiness. There will be lots of days and nights. But through it, I’ll stay with you. I’ll breathe with you and I’ll cry with you. In silence if that’s what you need. Because it’s a chance for me to be more than me, just for you.

It’s You.

She tasted of gunpowder and roses, just as beautiful and just as dangerous. She was smokes and mirrors. A reflection within a reflection, a forbidden act. She was ferociousness and tenderness in the same breath.

In the moment as we sat on that bench, my body ached for her. She was too much and too little at the same time. Much more than what she thought and much less than what I was making her out to be. She was untamed, unchained and unhinged.

Her pain was fueling the fire in her belly. I knew I could get burned. I knew I had to tread with caution but damn she was worth the burns.
And so I jumped.
To fall into her.

(In response to Weekly Discover Challenge: Designed for You )

Harmony In Sentiments

Weekly Photo Challenge: Harmony

Harmony

One Word Prompt: Sentimental

I believe we can dance,
Under the moon lit sky and warm summer nights.

We shall move and swirl,
While getting soaked in our endless love.

We can dance and forget.
Hold on to each other like moon holds tides of the ocean.
Strongly, fiercely and firm.

We can crash into each other,
Like waves of the ocean crash into the rocks,
Leaving marks of passion and love.

We can gaze and gaze,
Endlessly at each other’s face,
Like a long lost traveler has finally found its long lost destination,
Its final resting place.

We can dance and move,
To the rhythm of warm breeze,
That grazes our skins with its sweet ting.

We can step to the Galaxies,
And move through Constellations,
Every step forward leading us to Infinity.

Vibrant But….

Weekly Photo Challenge:Vibrant But…
Sadness

I painted this piece a few months ago. It was very refreshing to paint something after years and the meaning behind it meant a lot to me. It is inspired by an original piece: Sadness by cutetaeminnie.

Note: My finals are about to begin so hiatus is inevitable unfortunately. My exams will extend almost the whole length of February. So I will see you guys after a month. Will catch up with all your posts after I come back.

Will miss you all dearly.
Love & Peace,

Zee ❤