Don’t Mess With Me!

Daily Prompt

 I’ve always been pretty confident…Though A little too much for my taste now!  As my parents tell me I was a kid who was always active without being hyper active. I knew when to stop. Having two very older brothers also helped in boasting my confidence. Being a sister never stopped them from throwing me on the bed, playing catch with me with a hardball and teaching me how to dive. Getting on the roof of the house and eating fruit there was the highlight of my childhood. I don’t remember playing with dolls in particular, I mean seriously what are you suppose to do with them? Brush their hair? Well you can do that to your own hair ! Dress them? I’d rather dress myself !

So in short I loved doing adventurous things, getting up on the trees, playing outside rather than getting my dolls married ! (Okay I do remember doing that once…I even boiled rice for the ceremony. Hey only once! Don’t judge! A girl gotta try everything! )

Lets get to the story now, I was in 10th or 11th grade then, probably 15 or 16 year old. I used to walk to tuition everyday, it was not very far, 15-20 minutes walk tops. On my way there was a water filtration plant where people would come from all around our neighborhood to fill up their bottles with filtered water. One day with my maid’s son who was about 4 years younger than me, I was on my way back home. I made my way across the filter plant when a guy with a water bottle in hand, spotted me and started singing a Bollywood song, Its lyrics went something like this:

“pretty as a picture, a colorfully dressed foppish girl: her agile eyes are a dagger.
hey, her agile eyes are a dagger; her good looks turned into a weapon.

whenever that girl comes to the window,
some dies staring at her, while some dies because they didn’t catch her glimpse.
when she used to walk through the streets, people come to see her in large number of groups”
(Stop smiling, These lyrics are not as funny when they are being sung to you on the street by a boy who has hardly passed puberty, okay? )
He kept staring at me, singing that song and that is when I realized he was actually singing that to me.
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He was hardly my age. I mean HARDLY ! I decided to forgive him for this discretion initially but he kept walking alongside and most importantly kept singing (Very badly I might add) and that my dear friends pissed me off. I was about 5 steps in front of him, I turned around:
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I walked up towards him, with my arms crossed on my chest,Why the hell were you singing to me?”  
He tried to act all macho and replied with stern face,“No I was not”
I said,“Yes, You were!”I honestly don’t remember what he said next to cause this next reaction from me but his face got stuck in the ‘O’ of horror as I took him by the collar,  with both hands holding his neck in place. He totally didn’t expect that from a girl. I towered over him and he felt to have shrunk. I shook him hard, “Will you sing to me again, huh???”
(And then next that happened is still a surprise to me how I didn’t just rolled right there on the road with a fit of laughter.)He started to whine, “Sorry, Please forgive me, please let me go.”giphy“Will you do this again huh, Will you?”, giving him another push by his collars.

Now he was literally begging me, He transformed from being a macho to downright a small little scared girl. “Sister, let me go.”

Oh so now you remember to call me a sister??? That part was hilarious. All it took was some shaking to make him call me a sister. Where did all of his macho-ness go?

I still had him by the collar, I looked over my shoulder at my maid’s son(who was also getting over the shock of what had just happened) , pointed with my head towards the guy and asked him “Do you know where he lives” , He shook his head in affirmative, still opened eyed in shock.

I turned my head towards the guy, looked straight in his eyes, with a raised eyebrow, “If I ever see you here again, I’ll come up to your house and beat you there and call your landlord to throw you out of the house. Do you get it?”

He was too scared to say anything by now so he just shook his head up and down, assuring me that he understood it loud and clear. I let go of his collar and he ran towards his bicycle, speeding away as fast as he could.

I turned towards my house, by now some people were standing there enjoying the show but off I went.

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Sleeping Beauty

Daily Prompt: What kind of sleeper are you? Do you drop off like a stone and awaken refreshed, or do you need pitch black and silence to drift off to dream?

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Well it depends upon the situation…

For quiet a while now I don’t care where I am I just have to drift off ! Due to my tough routine of constant traveling everyday, I have to wake up at 5:30 am to board the bus at 6:30 am. I can’t sleep early at night because I come home at 5:30 pm that too by bus. I either lay down for a while and get back to studying as soon as I can because If I once fall asleep I can’t wake up. I’m too tired to wake up again. So I sleep late at night at 1 or 2 am. This gives me only 3-4 hour sleep at night which obviously results with me wanting to sleep EVERYWHERE!

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As I mentioned in my previous post of a love story that I’m asleep during almost all of the lectures. No kidding ! The urge to sleep during that time is so damn high that I  just can’t resist. I even told my parents the only reason I go to university is to keep my attendance because even though I sit in class but my attention is just not there, I just want to put my head on that blue arm rest and drift off into the land of fairy tales (Okay maybe not that, but anywhere but there in the class ! ) My parents don’t say anything because my result is good I still study well so nothing to worry about.

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That was the story of sleeping when I’m in the class but even when I’m out with friends, I’m totally spaced out. I just want to rest my head somewhere and take a sweet little nap.
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Then there is sleeping on the bus but before that there is a part of waiting for it. I’m at the bus stop, extremely tired from a long day, I just need a bed, scratch that I don’t even need a bed, I can work with the pavement, just DON’T stare at me as I droll over the cement ! I do fear that this is gonna happen to me in the near future:
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Now comes the part of sleeping on the bus of course. Ooo ye sweet sleep come to mama !!! (Okay that sounded way funnier in my head) . I like the window seat because I can rest my head on the window or get really comfortable in whichever position. As I told you before in one of my posts Traveling In Hell is NOT easy due to the cheap boys in my bus, If only I could throw them out of the window one by one in front of the oncoming trailer ! It’s really hard when I’m not sitting on the window seat, if I’m in the middle and there are two total strangers on my each side I’d like to keep my eyes open just so any funny business won’t happen and If I’m in the most corner seat with a stranger on my one side and Nothing on my other side not even an arm rest, There is a very high chance that this would happen:
tumblr_mlgymifjwt1s02vreo1_400I’m already informing you of this, that above thing can and most probably WILL happen to me in the near future so be prepared for the post were I tell you guys of the most humiliating account of my life ! (You can thank me later)

But nothing can stop me from sleeping, because in the words of honey boo boo….
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Oh and did I tell you it is never a good idea to sleep on the bus door?
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Okay now I need to sleep, Peace out !
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Got Me Good…

Daily Prompt: Brilliant Disguise

Tell us about a time when someone had you completely fooled, where the wool was pulled right over your eyes and you got hoodwinked, but good. Was it a humorous experience or one you’d rather forget? What was the outcome?

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In school we had a group of seven friends and they were all of devious minds….always thinking of something crazy to do. We were in true sense weirdos !
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One time in recess, In 9th grade, my friend brought my book to me which was nowhere to be found previously. I asked where she found it, she told me that somebody found it and gave it to her to give me. In the meantime all my other friends came up to me as well and we were all standing in a circle. A little suspicious I opened it up and was just looking through it when I saw a page perked up inside the book. I took it out, all my friends bobbed up their heads to see what was written on the page. They were more interested in what was on the page than I was, So I straightened the page and there it was !!!

A Freakin’ Love Letter !

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All my friends mouth opened in the ‘O’ of horror and I was flabbergasted ! It was unbelievable since there were no boys in our school. Although we had a boys school adjacent to our school. There was just a small wall separating the two so it was very much possible how the letter got in my book….since we had just gone to their school to perform some practical and that exact book was with me when I went there with my whole class.
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There was some pretty cheesy stuff written on that letter, I don’t remember much of it now but it went something like I really love you, you are so beautiful, you have pretty hair, I love you so very much”  etc etc And there was a phone number written in the end as well, with Please call me” .

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 All my friends had their quizzical eyes on me and I was getting hot red with anger and confusion, “Who the fuck did this???” , “Who could have done this???” .
With each passing minute I was panicking more and more, In the moment of frustration I tore up the letter into tiny pieces and was almost on the brink of crying

Just Breathe...Just breathe !!!

Just Breathe…Just Breathe !!!

When one of my friends said, “Enough!”

I looked at her in confusion and all of them burst out laughing and I understood….They were the ones who wrote the letter in the first place!
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If before I was angry, now I was FURIOUS ! They were all laughing their asses off….
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(What happened after that, I’ll leave to your imagination…)

I Broke The Projector…SSShhh Don’t Tell Anyone!

Daily Prompt: Let’s Go Crazy

Sometimes, we act on impulse: What’s the most crazy, outrageously impulsive thing you’ve ever done? 

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Well for this I don’t need to think very far. I’d been meaning to confess  write about my this little, okay not that little, adventure for quite a while now and today I’ve got my chance at last. Before I start I need to make something clear, I’m not PROUD of what I did but lets just admit it was IMPRESSIVE how we never got caught. You’ll know what I’m talking about in a while.

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Okay so on one fateful day, my friends decided to study in the break. We usually goof around whenever we have time but our exams were near so they decided to study instead. Now the question was where to study. Library? No, Too many people there, they needed to combine study and they couldn’t sit still for a second. Outside? Too much distraction so they ditched that as well and decided to study in an empty class room. (Which was our lecture hall in the previous semester)

Notice how I wrote THEY and not WE ? It is because I was not in the favor of studying together in the first place. I knew that we were not made to study together. It just isn’t possible with such loud personalities of almost everyone in our group. So I told them to go off without me. For a while I sat alone, doing nothing but then I though; ‘what the hell, better go and check them out at least, maybe they are actually studying for a change.’ So I went in and as I suspected of course they were NOT studying !

I sat with them, talking and laughing about some random stuff. We were sitting on the plastic arm chairs, I don’t know how or why but one of my friends started to draw me on the arm rest with a board marker as a joke.

That's me 'Ziffi'

That’s me ‘Ziffi’

So I drew her as a protest:
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Then I drew my other friend sitting with us, who got caught in the crossfire:
shafakThings escalated quickly and we ended up drawing everyone who was present in the room at that time:
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(You must be wondering how this is connected to me breaking the projector screen and never getting caught? Let me tell you this has a HUGE role which you’ll know in a while.)

So after drawing each other, we got up on the stage where lectures are given on the board and projector screen. The projector screen was rolled up and just a thread was hanging from it so it can be pulled down whenever needed.(One thing I need to clarify is that our projector screens are not the ones which are put on stand and are of small size, actually they are suspended from the wall with a heavy bar and are quite big in size.)  One of my friends dared me to get the screen down:
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The projector was suspended about 13-15 feet high on the wall, I tried to pull the thread down to open the screen but as it was quite high I could only reach up to touch the thread but wasn’t able to get a hold of it and get it down. My other friends decided to join me. Now this was a matter of pride. We HAD to get the screen down. In our fail attempts, me and my other friends tried to perk up another friend on our shoulders to get a hold of thread but she was too heavy for us to keep her up, she nearly fell on the cement floor but we caught her just in time.

Something like this.

Something like this.

Caught in the moment of emotion and frustration one of my friend even tried to use the power of her shoe to get it down. But Alas we weren’t successful. My friend ‘M’ was pretty tall so we asked her to get it down for us which we were refusing to do so before. One should know when to accept defeat….but not me. No No, I wanted to take revenge on that screen for not letting me get it down.
I decided to push the thread to make it roll upwards again. Before I pulled on the thread my friend M said: Be careful, it may fall down. I was like ‘Stop with your black tongue’ to which she replied: ‘No seriously when I was pulling the thread down to open the screen it felt a little loose and was shaking’

But I was gone too far on my spree to revenge that I didn’t care, I didn’t really though that what she said could actually happen. So I gave a tug to the thread and Whooooooossshh, up it went. It struck its bar to which it was attached: Thhhhhaaaaasssshhhhhhh

As soon as it went up and struck the heavy bar, the bar came off the wall and came crashing down 13 feet along with everything : BBBaaannnngggg Bbbbboooommm Baaaaaaangg.

I still remember those three sounds it made as it fell on the cemented stage. It was like a loud car crash or sound that comes from steel making factories. It was bound to be heard by everyone in the university!

For a moment we all froze, right where we were standing. And then realizing what happened we ran with a speed of lightning. We dashed picking up our books from the chairs and skiting out of the room with thumping hearts and almost falling on each other.

We reached the corridor, which we found empty, luckily. As there were only two ways of being in that corridor, either from the library (which was locked at that time) and the lecture hall from where we were appearing. If someone saw us in the corridor at that time we’d be doomed.

We took a sigh of relief and started to make our way out when one of us suddenly remembered the pictures we drew of all of us on the arm rest….Shit !!! And here is how those pictures were of great value. It was VERY important to remove any kind of evidence that pointed to our presence there., As that lecture hall was closed usually and no one would go there in usual circumstances. If they found our pictures drawn on the chairs, it would certainly mean that we were there at some point in time. And it wouldn’t take them long to connect the dots and put the pieces together and us ending up suspended or worst paying up for that already shitty projector which used to turn off after every 15 minutes due to over heating. What? Really? Yes !

So one of our friends was chosen to clean up the evidence. She ran to the lecture hall  and cleaned off the pictures as we waited for her in the corridor . This mission was successful. Then there was the important task of getting out of there unnoticed. The sound which came off as projector hit the ground was too loud to ignore, Someone specially one of our classmates were bound to inquire about it soon enough even though it was on the ground floor. I told all of us not to leave together because that would be suspicious. I had seen enough of ‘Criminal Minds’ to cover up my tracks !  So we left in the number of two. Careful of anyone eying us. And then dashed up the stairs , out in the ground !

Later we asked various students if they had heard any kind of sound, they said No. Thankfully it was our last day in university before our preparatory week holidays for exams. We went home, never to hear of this incident again from anyone ever again…

Yessss!!!

Yessss!!!

My Hand is on fire !!!!!!!!

Today was a very slow day. Nothing as such happened…………..except my hand caught on fire (Okay Not Literally but figuratively) !

So the story is not that long. I woke up in noon, had breakfast/lunch and then went to help my mom and sister-in-law in the kitchen as they were making kabab . (just so you know I go into the kitchen very rarely but that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to work…….its just that I never get the chance. And YES this is my excuse).
They asked me to cut some Green Chillies.
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I brought 4 chillies from the fridge and started to cut them by holding it with my left hand and cutting it with knife in my right hand.
My left hand with which I was holding the chillies started to get all tingly but It was minor so I ignored it by washing my hands.

Then after some time it was like needles and pins were being inserted into my left hand. I didn’t make a big deal out of it, washed my hands AGAIN and waited for it to fade.

But IT DIDN’T !

Oh my…Holy mother….of fire…!!!!!
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My hand started to burn so bad….It felt like it was on Effing fire !!! (And believe me THIS time I’m not even over exaggerating )

What the…….’F’ man !

All the people who really know me, know this as well that I’m very strong,maybe not that much physically but mentally, I can bear pain without bouncing up and down like a monkey. I don’t make a big deal out of minor cuts and some blood drops. If I fall down I just get back up without caring for anyone to pick me up.

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But these Effing chillies really got me this time. I washed my hands over a million times but still the burning wouldn’t go away.
Then came the time for trying out different things to subside this shitty burning.
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First I put on some cream which was supposed to cool things up. It didn’t make much of a difference.

Then some Oil…It made the burning worst.

My sister-in-law suggested to put my hands in ice water, so I did
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This is how I felt.
It stopped the burning………………but only momentarily. Because every time I got my hands out of water they would start burning again.

To make matters worse I touched my lips with my hands. THAT WAS A BIG MISTAKE, as my lips started to burn too.
Washed my lips  a thousand times which made them better.
Then I saw a prickly heat powder, I poured it up on my hand.

Holy shitttttt !!!!

If my hand was on fire before, now it was submerged into hot lava.
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I was almost reduced to tears.  (My mom was like, It happens to me some times too, it’s not a big deal….YEAH RIGHT, you were never in the amount of pain I’m in now obviously !)
So…then I tried coconut oil and rubbing polyfax cream over it.

IT DID NOT WORK EITHER…..Mother of burning hell…..!!!! ( you can’t imagine the amount of swearing I was doing in my head)

What the hell was wrong with these chillies man???
It’s like they were specially imported from hell and Satan licked it and put his saliva on it himself !
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Sorry Mr.Satan but I HAVE to blame you for this !

In the end, Nothing I did made the burning go away……

I just pursed my lips tightly together, held back the tears and waited for it to go away.
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Damn you, you Effing chillies, damn youuuu !!!
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(Image credit: Google)

Travelling In Hell

Okay, so right now I’m sitting on this WORST BUS EVEERRR!!!

This is my first day back to university for second semester….(the only thing which is keeping me sane in this hell is the excitement of starting a new day )

Let me give you some information about this abomination in the form of this bus. ( I know you didn’t ask for the info but why should I suffer alone??? YES! I’M THAT MUCH EVIL!!!)

So the state of the bus is worse than Justin Beiber’s mustache. It is a piece of shit which should not be allowed to roam the face of the  Earth (literally)!

It is so old that I’m sure Abraham Lincoln must have traveled in it.

The noise it produces is like Nicki Minaj’s and One Direction duet. I’m sure if I keep listening  to it for the next few days,I’m going to end up deaf!

It is so slow that even Stephen Hawking’s wheel chair is sure to run faster than this piece of scrap!

And lets not forget the cheap boys sitting behind me till the end of the bus….freaking ass heads…They think they look cool but the truth is they are like a cross between a sloth and a mule! (Wanna throw them out of a freaking window, in front of some on coming  car)

The seat on this thing is killing my back, I’m going to need a chiropractor to fix it. (Or an exorcism for that matter as my back is turned like that super creepy girl from “The Ring”)

Seriously, I don’t trust my life with this junk. I’m just praying I get to my first day of university with every piece intact.

Prayers are needed!

(please forgive my spelling and other errors as It is really hard to write on a touch screen while sitting in an ancient bus)