Tell Me. 

How do you sleep with regrets tucked under your pillow?

With its heaviness holding your eyelids down not to sleep; but to punish with remorse.

How do you feel when affliction of your actions take hold of your throat one by one; choking you until you can’t breathe.

How do you feel, tell me how do you feel ? Can you sleep? Can you breathe? Do you have peace?

Do you feel your chest getting crushed under the weigh of it all? Your rib cage tightening, constricting your windpipe. Your heart caving in on itself. Do your lungs comply? Or have they betrayed you too like you betrayed me?

How does it feel, tell me how does it feel? Does your heart beats? And if it beats does it lunges in longing? Does it lunges enough to thump through your chest wall, break bones like you broke me?

Can you get out of bed? And if you can, do your legs carry you far enough to run from the carnage- blood and guts and slaying. Is your jar of hearts finally filled to the brim? Is it spilling? If not, do you need more still? How many more to satiate your thirst for hearts? Tell me.

Do you apologize? Tell me have you said sorry? And if you have, does it changes anything? Does it fix the slew of arteries you ripped apart and countless veins you left to bleed?

Do you feel guilt? And if you do, is it eating you alive the same way you swallowed me? Took my existence from me. Stole me from me. Do you even feel like a thief?

Or, do you hush the voices in your head every night,
Lay your remorses to rest along with the corpses of all those you have murdered,

and go peacefully to sleep?

Tell me.

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28 thoughts on “Tell Me. 

  1. Himali Shah says:

    I feel it very strongly. Thoughts that haunt me and don’t let me sleep. That pain is crushing. That’s life. We got to be strong and pick up ourselves. We are our own hero’s after all 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. plaridel says:

    sometimes the questions are the answers themselves, but they still need to be asked. at the fork in the road, keep the faith. it doesn’t matter what direction you take. what matters is how you deal with it. and when in doubt, follow your heart.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. nataliescarberry says:

    You put them down just like you would a hot potato in your hand. They can no longer hurt you when you leave them in the past where they belong. And if you are looking backward and them, you will be missing what’s in front of you! You can’t go back, you can’t change anything about the past and as long as you are trying to do that you are keeping yourself from moving forward!!! So put them all down, put them in a metaphorical suitcase, and mail them to Siberia or some other distant place you can’t or won’t go. 🙂 🙂 😉 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. katiemiafrederick says:

    Hi Zee.. A HeART IS A Muscle
    that can/WiLL be exercised
    aS Olympic
    Sport iN
    LoVinG
    DreAMs
    or left now
    dead RoTTinG staGnant
    iN nightmares
    As tar oiLed
    pit of dead
    birds now
    who will
    never know and
    see fLiGhT heART LiFE aGaiN..
    aS ever true tHeRe IS A Star of Nurturing
    Love that is no bounds of darkness
    away from light.. and true there is
    the other place that only
    sees an opaque
    glass
    oF
    heART wHo
    thaT never lives now
    as death that is entropy LiFE
    whatever the case more than
    likely as long as you love you
    don’t live with/as the tarred birds now..
    i’ve been to
    that other place
    those NoW who
    give/share love live
    in a much better place..:)

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Erika Kind says:

    There is so much pain in your lines and at the same time, I feel some liberation too to give the inner world a voice and let out what wasn’t allowed to be heard… Deep scars and wounds and there is nothing that can be said right now but that it needs time and…. that you are not alone!💖

    Liked by 1 person

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