Hurt Me 


He shoved her against the wall. Her back hitting the concrete with a loud thud. A painful breath escaped her lips as she felt the impact surge through her back and spine. It felt like her heart crashed against her chest wall and the only reason it didn’t leap out of the cavity was because her ribs didn’t let it. And it wasn’t just the physical impact of the shove that made her feel that way.

She fell to the ground in a trembling mess as he came running to pick her up.

Oh my God. Shit shit shit. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He babbled the words trying to lift her up. “I didn’t mean it.”

She didn’t have to see the bruises to know that they had already marked her shoulders as she whimpered in pain when he touched her.

Touch.

His touch.

A part of her despised it. But a part of her still warmed up to it. A part she needed to smother. Like the way his arms were smothering her as he took her in his embrace. The embrace that now felt more like gallows than home. His arms felt like thorns etching into her skin as she tried to recoil away from him but failed to do so.

I’m so so sorry.” He kept repeating the same words.

She couldn’t cry. The pain was searing through her body in violent frenzy, running through her veins and lungs looking for an escape somehow. Only to return back to her heart in vain. She didn’t say a word and he kept spitting some more meaningless apologies as they sat on the floor in air that reeked of heartbreak and hundred broken promises. And the only thing that was kind to them in those moments was night as it stood a silent witness to their downfall. There was nothing left between them but question marks about love, if there ever was. Even ‘nothing‘ felt like a lot more than what they two had left between them now.

(Daily post: Anticipation,  Maddening)

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34 thoughts on “Hurt Me 

  1. rommel says:

    Yikes!
    That’s why sometimes I just better off walking away from love quarrels. 🙂 I’d rather sleep on the couch than lose my temper. 😀 I hope to never be that man described here. I even let my women play punch me. Ahihihi 😀

    Like

  2. katiemiafrederick says:

    Hello Zee.. first oF all
    glad to see up there this
    hurt didn’t happen to you..
    as more than half the women i have
    ever met in life and loved have a similar
    real life story to share like this that could fill novels
    that i could relate from the stories they
    eventuAlly shared with me..
    at the core of all
    abuse is
    usually
    a story of
    who hurt the abuser
    first.. a vicious cycle
    all social abuse is from
    the child who is neglected
    to the older part of society
    who has lost their social role
    and becomes what they say in
    America is an angry old white man
    of course that can apply to anyone who
    is lost.. hurt.. and or abused.. Sting wrote
    the Song i left up there that i recently used
    in another place for this kind of sentiment and
    he wrote it to resolve his grief over a friend who
    had committed suicide at the lowest level of functionality
    as human existence.. when there are no more straws to grasp..
    Anyway… when i see a bully in whatever shape they come or a person
    who no longer has any straws to grasp.. i look for who hurt them first
    and some
    way to
    help
    them
    find their way
    back to belong and
    trust what can be a flower of life..
    when the opaque of window to that
    flower comes clear and cleaned open..
    so the wound can stArt to heal my FriEnd..
    And eventually beCome a Flower that blooms too..:)

    Like

  3. Umer says:

    “Even ‘nothing‘ felt like a lot more than what they two had left between them now.”

    So well described….
    Sometimes, words speak louder than actions……like in this case, he seems to say, “Sorry, I killed you.”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. nataliescarberry says:

    Wow, so powerful and brave of you to write this!!! I didn’t know it at the time but my daughter was in an abusive relationship with her college boyfriend. And as a mother it just broke my heart that she had endured such a thing. But the Lord was good as he brought her a wonderful man in graduate school. They’ve been married along time now and he still treats her so well and takes such good care of her. I’m very, very sorry this has happened to you and pray that God brings you a wonderful man who will never ever hurt you like that again. Love and hugs, N 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • Zee says:

      Oh Natalie, thank you so much for your well wishes 💞 but this is just a story, it didn’t happen to me like this personally but I’ve seen it happen. This was a physical abuse but sometimes emotional abuse which it leaves behind is much more impactful. The scars like these take a lot of time to heal. I’m happy for your daughter, I wish for her all the best things in life ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Erika Kind says:

    Wow! Amazing, Zee! I can relate to this very well. It also reminded me of a line in a song. It is a German song that’s why I only repeat that one line: You need to fight for love during and not after…”. An “I’m Sorry” after everything has broken down while we tried to make that person aware of that upcoming earthquake is only making us shake our heads and turn around disgusted. Sorry, but that is how I can explain it best.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Zee says:

      That is such a wise thoughtful line; to fight for love during and not after. And I guess that’s where most of us go wrong. We don’t fight for it during and let things get uglier. And when by the end of it it’s non-fixable we try to put it back together in vain. Digging our nails into concrete, only to hurt ourselves more in the process. Thank you Erika for sharing your thoughts with me 💞

      Liked by 1 person

      • Erika Kind says:

        Yes, right! Glueing the pieces together will always leave some cracks with makes the whole think instable. Instead we should take care before that we prevent the love from as many cracks as possible!

        Like

  6. chaos-xd says:

    It’s very saddening how most of us often take relationships for granted and end up going through painfully hurtful phases of life. The wordings were so realistic it made me cringe to read along. Very beautifully written!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. trentpmcd says:

    Hi Zee. Another powerful one. It is so sad that so many people live this way. It is very hard for most women to leave an abusive relation. (It’s also hard for men to leave abusive relationships too, but unfortunately women are much often the victim.) A lot of truth in so few words…

    Oh, and in the music too 😉 I did enjoy the song and it did fit, as usual.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Zee says:

      Thank you Trent. I think one of the reasons why it is so hard to leave an abusive relationship is because a lot of manipulation goes into it by the abuser. And victim is usually tangled in the web of love/hate. It’s hard to see things clearly when you are so emotionally involved with someone. Oh and I personally loved the song choice for this one too. It’s such a heartbreakingly exquisite song ! I’m glad you liked it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • trentpmcd says:

        I think that’s a lot of it. We want to believe in love, don’t we? So the abuse, mental, physical or both, is either our own faults or an anomaly. I think that’s how it continues. And it is scary to even imagine life without the other. (I’ve known people in abusive relations and have seen this).
        Yes, the song was great for the post. The mood fit perfectly.

        Like

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