Jaan-E-Maan

‘Girls like you’ your mother says
‘are going to be disappointed a lot.’
She’s chopping coriander so fast that her hand is a blur
and you’re 12 and you’re standing
like a tremble, grubby knees and tear stained cheeks,
an offering in front of her.

‘Why?’ Your voice is a quiet shake.
She puts the knife down and calls you ‘jaan’
she holds your face in her wet hands,
you don’t flinch because this
is what love looks like
she kisses your forehead like forgiveness
‘because you mean what you say,
you think other people are the same.’
She tells you that she spent four years
trying to learn their language
but people ask how you are
and walk away before you can tell them.
‘I’d rather be silent.’ She says.
‘At least being quiet is honest.’

You’ll come home seven years later
wearing your heart like a bruise
on the inside of your sleeve
‘mama,’ you’ll say, voice like a thunder crack
‘he said he loved me, and I believed him,
I shouldn’t have,
I think that he lied.’
She’ll be older then, but she’ll kiss you
just as tender, just as birdlike.
‘Is it my fault?’ You’ll ask.

She is half lioness, half woman. She is all roar.
‘Listen to me’ she calls you her soul again.
She says it in your language so you know
that she means it.
‘You are so infinitely tender,’ she takes the frown
of your face in her hands and holds it carefully

‘People will not always know what to do with that.
You can’t ever be sorry for the way you loved,
You can’t be sorry for who you loved.
Don’t ever let them bend you backwards
don’t let them make you hard or bitter.’
Her voice turns into a growl

‘You did not get this from me.
Somewhere inside of you there is rain.
Somewhere in your stomach,
something beautiful is growing
and it is infinite.
Don’t you let them try and take that from you,
you are open and you are a flood,
someday someone is going to want to die in you.’

   – “Jaan-E-Maan” by Azra Tabassum
(via 5000letters.tumblr.com)

(Jaan-E-Maan means “My Dear” in Persian and “Darling” in Urdu language.)

(Daily Post: Vanish, Sacred )

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60 thoughts on “Jaan-E-Maan

    • Zee says:

      Hey Rob,
      your sweet messages on my blog have reached my heart. Thank you very much !<3 I miss this place and occasionally dropping by the V-pub for some drinks and ball dance. Maybe I will be back soon. I hope so?

      Hope life's been treating you well and you've been dancing under the disco ball enjoying your life,
      Much love,
      Zee ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  1. kingajpg says:

    I just found your blog and I’m so glad I did! Your writing is so beautiful and easy to connect with. I connected with this post in particular, it’s so weird because it was posted on my birthday and you included my favourite song! Wow thanks for writing this x

    Like

    • Zee says:

      This is worth reading a million times. It was a pleasure to share it with the world. Thank you for taking time to read this gem. I’m happy it inspired you the same way it inspired me 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Zee says:

      Oh wonderful. I found this very powerful and impactful too. I’m glad it resonated with you as well. Thank you so much for checking this out, I appreciate it a lot ! ❤️

      Like

  2. Penne Cole says:

    What a beautiful poem. You’re always at your most vulnerable when you give someone your heart. Anyone who doesn’t cherish it doesn’t deserve it anyway but quite often we only learn that the hard way.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Mabel Kwong says:

    I really like the line being honest is quiet. It is so true. Silence can convey so many different meanings at once – happy, sad, uncertainty. Silence itself is a language…and it is a powerful thing. Always up to interpretation 🙄

    Liked by 1 person

    • Zee says:

      I absolutely agree. After all there is a reason why Rumi said, “Let silence take you to the core of life”. It’s a powerful things after all. Thank you for giving this a read Mabel ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Erika Kind says:

    Oh, Zee! I listened to the music while reading and it touched me so very deeply. Such an important and poignant message. We are all so beautiful and precious. We must never believe anyone who says anything different which might make us someone we are not! Thank you for sharing both, the story and the song 💖

    Liked by 1 person

  5. hailangeliccreation says:

    You have a wonderful story to tell here, and the format makes it interesting to read. It’s true that good souls are often exploited at the first signs of kindness, and it’s a shame to see them harden or close off. I hope you’ll continue to write beautiful stories such as this one to resonate with readers.
    Happy writing!
    -Author S

    Liked by 1 person

  6. katiemiafrederick says:

    sMiLes.. my friEnd
    Zee.. beFore i cAMe
    here today.. i was having
    a reAlly hard time finding
    a title for
    what i wrote
    as i don’t seek
    titles.. they come
    to me.. along with
    words my friEnd
    that FloW
    aS SonG
    and
    even
    DancE when
    SpiRit liGhts A hoMe..
    anyWay.. for somE FeeLinG
    SenSinG deep down iN aLL of
    everynow.. ‘Star Rain’
    camE Home..
    and now
    i come
    here.. and you in thAT..
    provide A gift unwittingly
    too..noW of Both SonG
    and Words.. sharing
    freely that dots
    A i
    iN
    aLL oF home Now
    oF eYe.. you kNow
    i have thiS FeeLinG
    thaT God iS GroWingLy
    leARning to sPeak preSent
    iN all of wE who seek to FiNd
    A hiGher meaninG and purposE now
    than beFore mY friEnd.. as synchronicities
    continue to fruIT.. aS nows go on as Star Rains
    that come from crucible iN fire oF Star bursts as
    we sentient sTar duSt plUs GroW iN ConNecTinG Force
    as simply MoVinG CreATinG
    free as
    Love
    can
    do as Free
    Rain.. Stars gLow
    And gRow as Ocean WHole..
    Thanks for giving
    and sharing what
    you do here..
    it IS
    A
    hUman way..
    as Star Rain liGht..:)

    Liked by 1 person

  7. TheOriginalPhoenix says:

    “Don’t let them make you hard or bitter.” That really spoke to me because that’s what I’ve become, but I’m working to change that.

    Like

  8. trentpmcd says:

    That mama is very wise, full of good insight and good advice. I’m assuming it is not written by you, but by by Azra Tabassum (not that I know who that is….). It does sound like it could be about you! And you listen to the mama of the story – don’t let them make you hard or bitter! Love who you want and how you want and someday it will be returned 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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