A Quintessential Downfall

At first it was just one pill. Then it were two. And then it didn’t take long for two to turn into three, three into four and four into five. And soon she forgot the count of how many she took. She chewed on her bottom lip until it was raw and bleeding. She liked the pain. But then why was she trying so hard to escape it if she liked the pain as much as she claimed?

Her heart was a black hole she was slowly disintegrating into, disappearing into. Like getting lost into the oblivion of her own self. Her soul had parted from her body a long time ago. Maybe that is why it was so much easier to self destruct. To let herself fall of the edge. It wasn’t jumping off the edge that was hard.
It was the fall.
The infinite drop – a misery of its own.
The anticipation of the splat.
The sound of her shattering, crumbling, collapsing…
Reducing to rubble after imploding, exploding and smashing to smithereens.

What a demise
A dissolution of masterstroke,
A paragon unsolved,
A quintessence misunderstood,
A baffling downfall and a mystifying tale.
Finally, Coming to an end.

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71 thoughts on “A Quintessential Downfall

  1. Akhiz says:

    pain is necessary, its should never leave, it may sound absurd but pain is the only thing which lets us discover, see and find who we really are. Its a masterpiece by you Zee, kudos.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Akhiz says:

        yup it is, and i usually go thru a writers block when im not going thru it (and then i miss it which is a little odd cuz i cant write) need to get to the point where writing comes naturally without it… the ultimate quest.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Zee says:

          I feel the exact same way. And saying it out loud feels so weird and I thought I was alone but apparently not. Many more writers go through the same. It’s hard to feel inspired without the pain and anguish and all the similar feelings to be honest…

          Liked by 1 person

  2. rommel says:

    My company is very big, huge really, and we have a lot of people. And I hear this kind of stuff happen. So this is hard to read. It’s a sad realization that people go through this. I would shake my head as much as I want, but I understand that I could never feel the same way they’re feeling.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Zee says:

      Yes these kind of incidents are very common corporate firms and companies. People have so much stress in their lives now, they can barely get a breather! and it’s so true about the fact that we can nod in agreement but can never understand what they are going through, not really unless we have been in that dark place ourselves.


  3. Prajakta says:

    “What a demise–
    A dissolution of masterstroke,
    A paragon unsolved,
    A quintessence misunderstood,
    A baffling downfall and a mystifying tale.
    Finally, Coming to an end.”

    Sometimes… End is good! That is the only way to have a new beginning. It is okay to not look back.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. katiemiafrederick says:

    Life is full of sad songs..
    More than can be heard
    by those who
    sing the
    no longer
    felt at all.. A
    hardest part is
    when all feelings
    are gone away beyond
    sad.. and An only feeling
    that is left aT all.. is pain to
    replace numb.. a horrible
    place that has
    no Lazarus
    to feel as space
    beyond empty.. beyond
    the nothingness of piece
    of paper existence.. yes.. as
    you say.. the black hole soul..
    forgets to play a Song
    of Human
    no longer
    aS tar
    oiled bird
    that no longer
    moves a SonG of Life..
    to morning star BriGht..
    as heARt.. as SpiRit FliGht
    gone down.. so far beyond the liGht..
    and A saddest pARt oF aLL.. is often
    if theRE is any cure aT aLL iT is wait
    for numb to go away.. and of
    course pills are
    no fulfilling
    to BrinG
    back a Lamp
    that last iN eYes
    that SinG and DAnCe
    aLive aGAin.. noW
    and truly impossible
    to fully understand
    unless one
    to this
    empty place
    as dead in life.. mY FriENd Zee..:)


    • Zee says:

      Yeah sadly that’s how it goes for the addicts. For anyone who’s looking for a way to numb. And no one can understand unless they have been to that place. But there are people who do understand, I hope there’s one for everyone! Thanks Fred for the comment πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • katiemiafrederick says:

        SMiLes.. FriEnd..
        Zee.. My pleasure
        As alWays to stop by
        And the entire Ball of
        Confusion that is the human
        Race on Earth can use a wHole
        Lot of understanding and on the
        Eighth Day..
        God made the
        Internet After
        Due rest
        Humor too..;)


  5. Mabel Kwong says:

    One pill…and then another…and then we lose a bit of ourselves. Wonderfully done, Zee. Self control is something that can be elusive. Our body craves and desires, and sometimes it is hard to put mind over matter. Looking forward to visiting your blog home page soon ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Zee says:

      “And then we lose a bit of ourselves”…this is so well said Mabel. I guess with event attempt to harm ourselves that’s what happens. It isn’t always easy to fight the dilemma but never impossible… thank you πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Erika Kind says:

    About 10 days ago my son told me that a girl in his school committed suicide. It was a shock to hear that. How much pressure must have weighed on her. She was 16. It is so terrible when a kid in that age has no outlook, no hope… Although there lay a whole life in front of her…. and what a lifelong horror for the parents. It barely happens over here. Perhaps that is what shocked me even more.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Zee says:

      Oh my gosh 😦 this is so so sad…as they say death ends the life of one person but it causes a lifelong misery for the ones left behind. This is heart breaking to hear. God knows what that girl might be going through to do that to herself 😦

      Liked by 1 person

      • Erika Kind says:

        Yes, I could not stop thinking about what made her going so far. And of course, my heart breaks for the parents which may feel guilty for the rest of rheir lives….. some of the most horrible things that can happen.
        I hope, you don’t mind me mentioning this. It came spontaneously to my mind when I read your post. It is actually a compliment because you wrote it so very poignant, Zee. You are such sensitive person!

        Liked by 1 person

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