Feel Darling, Feel.

Feel. I told myself feel. Don’t stop. You will not experience such pain again. So feel darling. Learn your lesson, down to the marrow of your bones. Why to never let them in again. So you learn from your mistakes.

Feel. Let it consume you. Let it reduce you to ashes. So when you come out beaten and broken at the other end, you know how to build walls as strong as mountains.

Let it paint you in scarlet red, blue, yellow and purple. Let it bruise you in colours you’ve never been bruised before. Feel darling, feel.

Let it burn you like the sun, scalding your skin, melting your insides. Watch yourself burn.

Let it destroy your heart like the hurricane on rampage. Feel it being blown to smithereens, every shard stabbing you, every scar being etched into your skin. Feel. Don’t escape. Don’t try to subdue this pain. Let it prick your every pore, one at a time. One by one.

Throb. Ache. Bleed.

Feel darling, feel.


( Silence )

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95 thoughts on “Feel Darling, Feel.

  1. katiemiafrederick says:

    Yes.. my FriEnd.. Zee..
    God is dArk and liGht
    obviously as one looks to
    the niGht sky it’s impossible
    to miss that tHeRe can be no liGht
    without dArk and no dArk with
    no liGht.. and surely..
    the DaRk makes
    its preSents
    kNown in no
    unclear terms
    of hUman niGht..
    but as i like to say..
    those who either fear the
    dARk or are cynical of the liGht
    miss out on half of life.. more and less..
    And while.. it’s so important..
    to feel and understand
    pain.. both for
    the pain and
    feelings of
    sympathy
    for both we and
    oThErs.. iF we do not
    beComE A liGht for the
    challenge of DaRk.. we miss
    out on half of lifE aGain as those
    who only walk in liGht and can never
    understand the dArk of tHeir
    fellow human beings..
    who fall
    to
    pits
    beyond
    fire of any
    human imagined
    HeLL but for those
    who go tHere iSReAL
    mY friEnd.. When the Devil
    gets of hell.. the Devil WiLL surely
    wanna try something new rather than
    the dARk that took the Devil tHeRe.. in the
    First place my FriEnd.. so may that mountain
    of Walls become an Ocean more of shine my
    friENd.. may your love Reign.. Rain.. WiTh
    Reins so gREat oF sHIne more
    thaT yOUr Ocean of
    Water
    becomes
    Sunshine more
    than the Sun that
    gives life as wE and morE..:)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Prajakta says:

    Extremely powerful, especially with the repeat of “Feel darling”. I could feel it in my bones, especially when I read this line: “Let it paint you in scarlet red, blue, yellow and purple. Let it bruise you in colours you’ve never been bruised before. Feel darling, feel.”

    Your drive home the point very well. Superficial happiness pales in front of the depth of all emotions – good or bad.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Zee says:

      Thank you Prajakta. I wouldn’t want any less than for people to “feel” my words and I’m glad my point was well conveyed ! As humans we are wired to feel the whole spectrum of emotions. That’s what makes us unique 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. nataliescarberry says:

    I’m with you all the way on this except with the building the walls. This is very powerful and cathartic ideology, but part of a real and lasting loving experience comes solely from our willingness to be vulnerable and trusting and open, and that can’t be seen from behind walls that surround us. I did that once in my life and though it protected me from hurt, it also closed me off and later people would say they thought I was arrogant and unapproachable which is not what I wanted to be nor was it the truth. There’s an old saying that if you can’t afford to lose, you can’t afford to play. And although that is very good advice in some situations, if we are ever going to have a chance at real authenticity and acceptance and true love, we have to be willing to take some losses along the way. And I personally want those that choose to love me to see me as I really am and not what they want me to be or what they think I am, and I want them to love me in spite of my flaws–to love me through the good, the bad, and the ugly days that is in me. And trust there is some of that in all of us. So be sure dear Zee that the wall your build is not so high that mere mortals can’t climb it and that you can still tear it down when you’re ready to do so. It’s like digging that hole in reverse, I used to tell my students to stop digging themselves into a hole that would get too deep for them to climb back out of. Love and hugs, 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Zee says:

      This is a very very beautiful and wise advice Natalie. I’ve done the same before you know, building walls, to keep myself from getting hurt and emotionally distancing myself from people. A different version of numbing. But when the walls tore down, everything came crashing down and it was flood and I found Myself immerse in all the things i was trying to avoid all this time. I think what I did back then was an unhealthy version of building walls. The ones I hope I build now is where I’m enough for myself and I make myself happy rather than depending my happiness on people and to stop expecting from them. Expectations only lead to disappointments.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Mabel Kwong says:

    Feel. It is such a hard thing to describe and there are so many kinds of feels as you mentioned. I like how you said feel burns – you could be happy, alight and alive with joy, or you could be down and feel consumed by frustration and confusion. Wonderfully written and I always love you reflections. They make me feel 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Zee says:

      We aren’t humans if we don’t feel the whole spectrum of emotions. One has to feel. And If I’m actually making you “feel” my words then maybe I’m doing some things right. Thank you so much Mable. The same way your insights makes me feel happy when I see your comment pop in my notifications 😊

      Hope you have a very nice week ahead ! Much love ❤️

      Like

    • Zee says:

      Absolutely Trent. Just like No rain without the sun. No happiness without the sadness. No light without the dark. Everything that comes in our way in life, including pain, is essential for our growth as a person 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

          • trentpmcd says:

            Inspirational “train”? Well, maybe I could “train” you to be a muse, although the video poem you posted the other day said, “A woman is not a muse”. Oh well, just an amusing thought 😉 I hope you’ve been well. I’m sure the internship has been keeping you plenty busy!

            Liked by 1 person

            • Zee says:

              Haha well thats a nice amusing thought ! The poem also said “I’m not just a metaphor” but I guess it was said for those who consider a woman only that. She’s much more than just a muse or metaphor 😉

              I’m doing good Trent. And yes internship’s been keeping me busy 😇 what about you ?

              Liked by 1 person

              • trentpmcd says:

                Yes, that all important “just” – you are that and so, so much more, as is she, as is “woman” in general that she is talking about. 🙂
                Glad you’re doing well and are busy in a good way. I’m doing well and staying busy – not that you’d know from all of my WP posts! But they go up fast. It is warmer than usual for this time of year, but I love autumn! so doing well there too….

                Liked by 1 person

  5. Vinny Idol says:

    This was very powerful and purposeful. Before I had my panic attack, I was withdrawing from people, because I couldnt be myself. I believe now that my panic attack was the result of a broken heart, , stress and not FEELING.

    I finally understood what addicts go through.. It took me awhile to feel again.. I have to thank yoga and exercise for that.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. stacilys says:

    Wow! Now that’s a powerful write Zee. I’m a huge believer in letting our sufferings teach us. They certainly do.
    How are you doing anyhow sweetie. I hope you are well.
    Have a lovely week, my friend.
    🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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