Tonight.

The club lights were dancing, throwing patterns over the lost youth…vodka, whiskey, scotch, bourbon, tequila, crack cocaine, ecstasy, meth, amphetamine, roofies…you name it and you shall have it, with money of course. And she had enough to buy the whole club itself. She had tight black leotard on with sky-high heels, hair teased giving a rough yet sleek look, Black Kohl filled eyes masking the red in her big brown eyes and fiery red lips ready to devour whatever came her way. Despite of trying her best to look like just another trashed slut with daddy issues, she ended up looking the exact opposite.

Tonight she was going to drink, everything and anything that she could find on the shelf. She didn’t know what for or why so, all she knew was that there was something she needed to forget. Something that needed to be numbed. Too many things that need to be numbed.

Tonight she was going to drink and give life a middle finger on its face and walk away. Life was cruel too many times, while kind too less. And so she drank. That was the only thing she was good at apparently. She drank her sorrows away knowing all too well that she would regret it the very next day. But she drank anyway since life was not as easy to live as they said.

Like it’s in our control while we stumble and fall into ditch of unfathomable sadness. She drank and watched as the world crumbled around her feet. Tonight she was on a mission to destroy. She wasn’t sure what yet. The music was blazing and people around her were slavishly grooving to it like wild animals but all she saw were humans, lost…completely and utterly lost. Astray. Just like her.

For a moment she wanted everyone to disappear but the music and the dance floor and she imagined herself dancing lonely to it. She didn’t know how much time passed by as she wandered around in her imaginary world. She then lit a cigarette and imagined it all go down in flames.

She drank and drank until she was sure she wouldn’t remember a trace of tonight and all the thoughts it contained, the next morning.

Lest the morning came. Lest.

(The original song is only till 5:25 in the above link.This is one of my most favorite song. You can check out the music video for this song HERE. It’s worth it.)

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52 thoughts on “Tonight.

  1. Prajakta says:

    Wow wow Zee! You have this art of writing exactly what I would do/feel/emote. I am not into drinking and dancing but those rare moments when I let myself go, I feel losing all sense and immerse myself into this vacuum.
    And excellent song selection 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • lifeconfusions says:

      Ah thank you thank you Prajakta for your appreciation, I’m humbled 🙂

      And yes we all have those times when we just have to let go and just be…we can deal with the consequences later 😉

      As for the song selection, Ed sheeran for the president I’d say! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  2. stacilys says:

    Zee, this is soooooo well written. Good job. The unfortunate thing is that this story is real for far too many girls. Especially girls with ‘daddy issues.’ Dad’s are so very important in the shaping of a daughter. You have really displayed well the emptiness that this girl feels, and her attempts of escaping reality.
    Truly a wonderful piece, full of feeling.
    🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. charlypriest says:

    This was a great little story, very good description. By the way that scene seemed to common for me….. you weren´t thinking about me? And did you actually the character a woman but really based on me? fu.k helluya buya !!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. nataliescarberry says:

    Oh man, Zee, I wrote a long reply to your post and then the dang thing shut down and I lost it all. Your post is excellent and written as it you are the one in the story. Are you? You tale is told with such authencity and understanding of dark nights of the soul that take us down to deep dark wells of despair that it can’t help but come from within in seems. At any rate, I’m glad you shared it and you have a talent for words and imagery, my friend. Love and hugs, N 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • lifeconfusions says:

      Awwh Natalie that’s too bad that you lost the response, that has happened with me few times too when I had my old PC 😦

      Thank you so much for taking time to write me another reply, I’m humbled that you find me worthy enough. I did write it as If I was the one or perhaps I was imagining someone else, I don’t know, writing is a mysterious thing, anything can happen, story can take whichever turn so 🙂

      Thanks again for your words of appreciation, As long as friends like you are here to read it, I will be writing.

      Much love,
      Zee ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. katiemiafrederick says:

    Oh.. human addictions.. truly.. mostly.. replacement
    for Love.. a heart never filled by parent
    or lost through abuses of
    social acceptance
    and reality of
    life grown
    cold
    in machine
    brain ways..
    A Mother’s
    Love.. a childhood
    embrace.. a laugh..
    a smile.. these warm
    and fuzzies grow
    frolic of human life
    instead of away
    to death
    in life..
    a play is a dance
    of life without alcohol
    or other drugs of course
    and freedom is dancing
    naked with GOD
    with none
    of that..
    but
    sadly
    a drink instead..
    is an approach
    but an
    escape
    from
    ALL
    THAT IS…

    If i have dimes for
    all the alcohol stupors
    who ask me what i am
    on when i dance at the
    Rave Club.. i will be
    rich.. but yes.. i am
    rich when i
    dance
    WITH GOD..
    sMiLES..

    GOD’s Dance
    ALive from
    Death’s Dance..:)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. angelswhisper2011 says:

    Sad story. Surpressed feelings to feel better for just a little time 😦 We love every song…well, almost every song, of Ed Sheeran. Great choice together with the story.
    Thank you, dear Zee, for the encouragement on our moving bloggie. That really meant a lot to us. Extra Pawkisses for the day 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • lifeconfusions says:

      Hey, Thank you so much guys for paying me a visit and reading my post. Ed Sheeran makes awesome music !!

      And it was a pleasure leaving encouraging note for you, Can’t wait to see you around more often!

      Much love your way,
      Zee ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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