Loss.

Loss. Loss. Loss.

How do people deal with loss? How does this process works? I know we eventually go on with life and time never stops.

Loss. This word. How immense is this. With just 4 syllables we cram the forever aching of our hearts. These 4 syllables contain everything from pain, misery, trauma and emptiness within our hearts.

With this just one word we describe losing whoever we loved. This word is a disservice to what one feels when we lose someone. In fact there isn’t any word in the world that can do justice to losing people we love.

We apparently move on. We eventually run out of tears. We start to put on a smile.

But.

What about the space that is left never to be filled again?

Loss.

I drown in the immensity of this word over and over.

Loss.

I repeat it in my head again and again.

But I still can’t get hold of what one feels when losing their loved ones.

All that comes to mind is emptiness one must feel. It NEVER goes away. Even after years have passed….

You just can’t get hold of the pain.

How do people deal? Loss. This word. All I can do is shake my head in defeat. Loss. You never get over it because the spaces left are far too wide and far too deep to be ever filled again.

Loss. This word. So Incomplete.

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76 thoughts on “Loss.

  1. plaridel says:

    you’re right. loss is so incompelete but for a reason. it’s like finding a glass that’s half empty. it gives us an opportunity to fill it up with something more meaningful.

    Like

  2. jessannseq says:

    Yes you’re right about loss.The void that’s created is never filled.Maybe we just get used to the pain,so much so that even though it hits us with the same intensity we don’t feel it anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ramya says:

    Yes the word Loss, has much more than just those four letters. It could cause immense pain in one’s heart, it creates emptiness, and a voidness that may never be filled.
    Great Post !!!

    Like

  4. MyDailyMinefield says:

    I don’t think we deal with loss – more like it deals with us, molding and defining us into the people we are to become. Until the day, we are gone and those who are left behind begin to deal with our loss. Maybe that’s the ultimate impact we have on the universe. Nothing teaches us or changes us, as humans, more than pain. Our death causes pain but it leads others to grow stronger or hones their character. Sorry, don’t know where all that came from – very heavy and depressing.

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    • lifeconfusions says:

      That’s a very deep thought…The loss deals with us rather than the other way around.
      And I couldn’t agree more with the part that nothing shapes us and changes us more than dealing with pain or loss or tragedy of some kind.

      I like how you gave it a positive note in the end that “Our death causes pain but it leads others to grow stronger or hones their character.”

      Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me. Have a great day.
      Zee ❀

      Like

  5. randomlyabstract says:

    This word. So incomplete.
    That’s so true. Haunts. Such a vast word really. Carrying immense incompleteness, the gap that cannot be filled, the tears that eventually dry out but the PAIN THAT NEVER HEALS. Like. So helpless. Nothing could make one feel as helpless and little and stupid and in pain, as this.
    Love the way you write.

    Like

    • lifeconfusions says:

      “tears that eventually dry out but the PAIN THAT NEVER HEALS” Couldn’t have said it any better myself Twin. you said it all. The helplessness too is devastating.

      Thank you for the comment and reading it. Love to you ❀

      Like

  6. trentpmcd says:

    It is so vast that a stack of dictionaries cannot contain enough words yet it is so starkly empty, the space between stars seem full and bright in comparison. But we must go one. It is what we humans do. It is what you must do – are you OK Zee? You haven’t posted in a little while…

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    • lifeconfusions says:

      It is what we MUST do indeed Trent. Only because we don’t have the luxury to do otherwise.

      Thanks Trent for checking up on me. you know how blogging gets the best of me sometimes, too overwhelming. Just needed a breather.
      And I had exams too.

      Hope you are doing great and turtle necks are gone, hehe! ^.^ πŸ˜€

      Liked by 1 person

      • trentpmcd says:

        Yeah, I saw on Instagram that you’ve been super busy, so much so that you’re becoming a sleepless zombie:) You were talking about depression and then disappeared – need to make sure you’re fine. But I should have remembered you’ve been ultra busy lately. I know blogging takes a lot out of you – I’m actually doing another slow down…
        No more turtlenecks – it’s actually reached 30C a couple of times this last week and may be warmer over the weekend, or will at my “real house”, but I’m on Cape Cod so it’s 15 degrees cooler.
        Hope life is going well and you have a chance to slow down and perhaps rest for a minute πŸ˜‰

        Like

        • lifeconfusions says:

          Aah Thank you for the concern Trent ! I just hope I survive, We have a very ruthless education system here that I absolutely loathe and there is nobody who raises voice against it which is much more frustrating. Ugh!

          Aah well 15 degrees cooler is quiet a pleasant weather, you must be enjoying ! Hope you are having a great time there πŸ™‚

          Why are you taking a slow down though? everything’s alright?

          Liked by 1 person

          • trentpmcd says:

            It’s great down here, though I’m stuck inside working right now. The blogging slow down is because life interferes πŸ˜‰ I’ve just been busy doing things like enjoying the weather, working, and yes, playing πŸ™‚ so I have much less time for blogging.

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              • trentpmcd says:

                Thanks Zee! Yes, I’m taking time to enjoy life. I mean it’s obviously not all good, no life is, but I am thankful for what I have and show that thanks by enjoying it πŸ˜‰ I hope you make it through this tough time to get to a point where you have a moment to reflect and enjoy your life ❀

                Like

  7. Miss Maqsood says:

    I don’t think we ever forget or get over loss, or atleast try to get over it, for that matter. But we just learn to live with the permanent void it leaves behind.
    No matter what the “loss” it can never be replaced or compensated, it’s and it will always be there. We get used to that black hole(s) in our heart. You will have new plants and flowers blooming but ek aisi jagah hoti hai har jagah aur har dil mein jahan aap jitni koshish kar lijiye kuch nahi bow sakte because that hole holds memories of the loss. Life and time teach us to live with them.
    Hope everything is perfectly or imperfectly (cz everything aint perfect in this transient worl) fine at your end.
    Love and regards.

    Like

    • lifeconfusions says:

      Yes. Absolutely. Very well said. That black hole that never goes away, rather sucks everything inside it. The light, the hope. But yeah we learn to cope with it. We have no other option but to live with it.

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m doing alright. Had exams going, so sorry for the late response.

      Hope everything’s fine at your end. Lots of love to you,
      Zee ❀

      Like

  8. litadoolan says:

    You reframe the word ‘loss’ with your post Zee. I had never thought of it incomplete but now the 4 letters look very differently. So poetic. Wishing you a great weekend.

    Like

    • lifeconfusions says:

      Thank you so much Lita for such a thoughtful comment. I guess it makes me glad to know that I managed to provide you with a different perspective on word LOSS.

      Hope you are doing great. Much love,
      Zee ❀

      Like

  9. Holistic Wayfarer says:

    Oh, beautiful. You’re right…immense and incomplete. And no words of condolence or empathy can fill it. They in fact often sharpen the ache of what’s gone missing. All we can do is stand alongside.

    Diana

    Like

  10. hugsxheart says:

    Loss is one of the painful words and when you face it, your world falls apart either when you loose someone or even yourself. Some manage to handle it better than others while some fall into darkness where they becomes friends with a fellow called loneliness. Just be brave and make the best of the situation and it will be alright one day! I really liked your text Zee ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    • lifeconfusions says:

      Aah you put it so well “an unwelcome house guest that will never leave.” couldn’t have said it any better myself. We live with it only because we have to, no other option.

      Hope you are well Tony, It’s been a while I saw you around.
      Much love,
      Zee ❀

      Liked by 1 person

  11. prior says:

    well Zee – you sure grabbed the essence of the depth and intensity that loss brings. And I like how you noted this “What about the space that is left…” because it reminded me of what CS Lewis said when he talk about getting thru the loss of His beloved woman (Joy) – and he said loss is not something you get over – you do not recover form it – instead it is like living with an amputated body part – and you learn to adapt and go on.
    and in my experience healing and moving through the process of loss is different and similar for folks – and then it also can vary in degree. BUt as a former counselor – one of the healing workshops we made for folks involved looking at losses in life – sometimes they had to give the loss of innocence – curtain friends because life changed and they were in new circles – or sometimes the loss of a close person. anyhow, the song was chilling –

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    • lifeconfusions says:

      That is one way to put it, Living with an amputated body part because it sure feels like it. No wonder CS Lewis is one of the greatest writers ever. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me Y. Your comments are always so thoughtful. Never knew you worked as a counselor; now I know from where your great communication skills come from ! πŸ™‚

      Hope your week is going splendid. Much love to you,
      Zee ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      • prior says:

        oh you are so sweet – and actually I had to learn just like everyone else – and even though I am wired to be natural counselor – I have this extraverted leader side that is subtle but genuine. and I recall helping my friend in the 6th grade because she had a botched perm and could not leave the lavatory. so that side is something we are born with – and sometimes it gets stifled via the role od being employed to do something – there are so many regulations and litigious sides – so I much prefer informal counseling sessions – like at a cookout or just discussing something after shopping. I dunno….
        anyhow, with CS Lewis – in the Christian community he tends to get quoted maybe too much – it is not that they make a “god” out of him – but some of his insights are extra seasoned because he was an atheist for many years and well, he just has all this seasoning from being able to think. Last year I dived into his bio and he grew up in a hazy town where they could not play outside much as children – and so some of the Narnia stories are things he would dream about as a child – when he was stuck indoors – anyhow, sorry to ramble – but it was fun to explore some of Lewis’ books and just feel his work for myself….
        and here is one more quote from him:

        No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing.

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        • lifeconfusions says:

          Very right Y, I guess we all have this compassionate caring side to us. Similarly the exact opposite. Maybe it’s about which side we decide to water and let grow.

          I’ve not read C.S. Lewis much, but you got me interested in his work and the background. I will surely check more of his work. Thank you so much for your generous and loving comment.

          I appreciate a friend like you. Much love to you,
          Zee ❀

          Liked by 1 person

          • phb2003 says:

            thx for your sweet comment (about the friend part) – and I feel the same (xxoo) because it is so cool how our blogging connections can just enrich our life! truly cool.
            and regarding cs lewis – just a heads up – I tried to read some of his stuff years ago and found it so dry. It was “a grief observed” and made me yawn and sleep – seriously – but the letters and then other things looped me in – and maybe my attention span developed more… ha
            but C. S. Lewis wrote about his wife, Joy, in that book.

            “Throughout this memoir of a short but intensely happy marriage, he recalls Joyβ€”referred to as “H.”β€”as a woman whose strength, faith, honesty, humor, and loyalty made her the best of companions, and brought out the best in him.”

            “H. was a splendid thing; a soul straight, bright, and tempered like a sword”

            anyhow, hope you have a great day and I will be dropping by later xxoo

            Like

            • lifeconfusions says:

              Hmmm well I think it might have some thing to do with your age or thinking level when you first came across him but then with time your thinking changed you started to understand his words much more, identifying with his work. πŸ™‚

              Thanks so much for the heads up! πŸ˜‰

              And I haven’t posted for a while, I will post today for sure though later in the day! πŸ™‚

              See ya soon Y πŸ™‚

              Like

              • phb2003 says:

                yeah, you might be right, but I was like you at your wage – always had that deep, reflective side – but at any age I find some writing styles just hard to get through – ya know?
                and I know I have said this before – but in my opinion, a blog is a living thing and the ebb and flow needs to go with where we are at and so again this is just my opinion, but post when you want to post and take pauses when needed – no matter how long, because I think it keeps the overall blogging better and more successful. hugs to you ❀

                Like

                • lifeconfusions says:

                  You are so right Y, Thank you so much for your advice ! It’s always so helpful to get reassurances from fellow blogger friends, it keeps me going, makes me thing I might just survive this. So thank you , it’s always a pleasure to have you around ! ❀

                  Like

                  • phb2003 says:

                    yes, stay strong and it sounds like you already know to soak up good reading and teaching. So keep finding things to fortify your inner woman – that is what carries us and sustains us during trials like this that pull. Also, watch the thoughts you entertain and rehearse in your mind – sometimes faulty belief systems or “stinking thinking” just makes us only see one small part of something – and it can pollute our thoughts – which then impacts affect – thoughts become feelings and then actions – and so feed your mind with things that give life and stir up strength, wisdom, and help you keep a broader perspective. Also, not to sound cheesy – but take a good a b-complex vitamin and extra magnesium (with calcium) – but there is a very real drain on the body form any kind of stress – especially loss – and in one study they found people used up all their b-vitamins when they “almost hit a car” – and well, so often the body is depleted of the b’s and other things – which impact the adrenals and pull from moods too. so just something to think about
                    xxoo

                    hugs

                    Like

  12. Prajakta says:

    I like how you captured these thoughts in a small capsule. Loss… I don’t think we realy get over it. Perhaps we numb the pain – our nature is very fickle at times. Some call it resilience as well.

    Liked by 2 people

    • lifeconfusions says:

      Numbing the pain…mmm, now that’s whole another story too ! Maybe that is what happens, Perhaps we get immune. Who knows, That’s what I’m trying to understand, the chemistry of it all…so confusing..

      Thank you so much Prajakta for reading ❀

      Like

    • lifeconfusions says:

      Aah that feeling…to get a glimpse of old us..it’s quiet melancholic in nature isn’t it?! You get flashbacks of all the good times, all that you used to be…And all that you aren’t anymore.. *sigh*

      Liked by 1 person

  13. The V-Pub says:

    I find that there is no solace during a period of loss. It’s a profoundly deep feeling that impacts all parts of our lives. But time does help lessen the pain. We start to remember the good times, and those memories will help ease our sorrow. I hope that you are well, Zee.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lifeconfusions says:

      I agree Rob, Time is the best healer. It’s baffling how it so effectively helps us to move on. It’s just that I can’t wrap my head around how easy it is sometimes to get over it. If you know what I mean? The process is too effective for me to understand it ever… *sigh*

      And Yes I’m alright Rob, I hope you are too??!! ❀
      How's your week's been so far? πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • The V-Pub says:

        I understand. Sometimes I feel badly that the sorrow had passed too quickly and I felt guilt about it. I’m doing well, Zee. It’s been very busy this week, so the time has passed quickly. The snow has gone, so that is a good thing!

        Like

    • lifeconfusions says:

      I’m so sorry for your Loss Akhiz, No amount of words and sentences can do justice to what you must be feeling. All I can do is remember you and your family in my prayers. May her soul rest in eternal peace. Much Love to you ❀

      Like

  14. ErikaKind says:

    I am amazed by your thoughts. Yes, loss can mean so much. When we talk about a loved one passes then it definitely is that the person can impossibly be replaced. Although the core of that person which made that person never dies and still is around and connected it is that it will never be as it was what breaks our hearts. But over time we get a different perspective. We will always miss the person but the grief will get lighter. We can talk about the person easier without having tears in our eyes all the time. We start to be more thankful for the wonderful memories that can never be taken away rather than sad about what is not anymore. Life goes on and reorders new. And over time we find a way to give the beloved person a new place in our life in order for us to move on with the person in our hearts – forever!

    Liked by 1 person

    • lifeconfusions says:

      True True Erika, you are right. I get that this is how process works, life goes on and all that. It gets easier to talk about the person. I get this is the step by step process. I get the superficial nature of it all, what I don’t get is chemistry. Like how does it all just happen. My mind just baffles me when I think about it. I don’t understand how efficiently this process works. It’s just the process that eludes me, if you know what I mean? If what I’m saying makes any sense? Aah maybe it doesn’t. I’m confusing just like that…

      You so beautifully described the process , I’m really thankful to have you around Erika. Hope your week is going well? Much love,
      Zee ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      • ErikaKind says:

        I totally get you, Zee! I too am someone that wants to understand how things work out. I want to understand the context and I want to understand it NOW!!! I soooo hear you, Zee! This can become such an obstacle. We get stuck because we only focus on the background and miss what is about to unfold meanwhile. We can lose our patience whe we feel the need to get explanation. I just prepared my Monday post and it is right about that. So funny!!! The title is going to be: Suffering – The Torture in our Heads. I wonder what you will be thinking of it. Big hugs to you, sweet Zee! ❀

        Like

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