No matter how many times I’ve said it or how much I’d like to believe otherwise, I do care what people think or how they perceive me. I do care of my image in their minds, I do care. I wish that I didn’t but I do. It makes me hold back about a lot of things that I want to do, The very small simplest of things that I know makes me happy.
Sometimes I want to lay down on the green lush grass and look at the bright clear blue sky, Follow the fluffy clouds, make shapes out of them and then close my eyes and sleep in the mild hot sun.
There are times when I see an empty road at night and I imagine myself lying in the middle of it, the cold hard pavement against my back and gazing at the star lit sky. Trying to count the infinite stars, bask in the glory of magical space with galaxies and milky ways. And Just lay there. Alone.
Then there are moments when I see an empty track, in the cold morning when nobody is out of their homes yet, and there is still some fog , quiet and calm and I just want to run…as fast as I can. Not run, Sprint. Sprint for as far as I can and stop at some green lush space and fall back on the ground, My lungs grasping for air, my heaving chest in sweet agony. Blood pumping through every vein of my body and just lay there.
But I don’t do any of that. Because I don’t know how I could. What would people around me think? Maybe a part of me is afraid..I don’t know ‘of what’ either. In a nutshell,There is always something…Something holding me back, something I’m afraid of and for now I can’t change that. So I just have to do with imagining and wishing for a lot of things to happen. Cuz that is all we can do at the end of the day…*In response to Today’s Daily Prompt