I Don’t Care.

No matter how many times I’ve said it or how much I’d like to believe otherwise, I do care what people think or how they perceive me. I do care of my image in their minds, I do care. I wish that I didn’t but I do. It makes me hold back about a lot of things that I want to do, The very small simplest of things that I know makes me happy.

Sometimes I want to lay down on the green lush grass and look at the bright clear blue sky, Follow the fluffy clouds, make shapes out of them and then close my eyes and sleep in the mild hot sun.

There are times when I see an empty road at night and I imagine myself lying in the middle of it, the cold hard pavement against my back and gazing at the star lit sky. Trying to count the infinite stars, bask in the glory of magical space with galaxies and milky ways. And Just lay there. Alone.

Then there are moments when I see an empty track, in the cold morning when nobody is out of their homes yet, and there is still some fog , quiet and calm and I just want to run…as fast as I can. Not run, Sprint. Sprint for as far as I can and stop at some green lush space and fall back on the ground, My lungs grasping for air, my heaving chest in sweet agony. Blood pumping through every vein of my body and just lay there.

But I don’t do any of that. Because I don’t know how I could. What would people around me think? Maybe a part of me is afraid..I don’t know ‘of what’ either. In a nutshell,There is always something…Something holding me back, something I’m afraid of and for now I can’t change that. So I just have to do with imagining and wishing for a lot of things to happen. Cuz that is all we can do at the end of the day…

*In response to Today’s Daily Prompt
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50 thoughts on “I Don’t Care.

  1. litadoolan says:

    Hey Zee there is SO much power in you last paragraph and in the thoughts behind your whole super post .. ‘ imagining and wishing for a lot of things to happen” isn’t that the most powerful thing? to picture the great things and see how they would fit in our life? Just my hunch anyhow!

    I hope this finds you well and all is grand in your world. I bet we all worry about what people think.. You are awesome and lots of folk think that for sure!! xx

    Like

  2. plaridel says:

    i think it’s normal to be afraid (or worry) about other people’s perceptions of us. even famous people aren’t immune to it. after all, we’re all social beings. we want to feel accepted.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lifeconfusions says:

      Hi Plaridel, you are right, I guess it’s a part of human condition that we are worried for our perception in eyes of others. There are few lucky one’s however who are able to break the chains and do whatever they love and don’t really care what other think…It’s a part of us growing up and evolution I guess 🙂

      Like

  3. Swoosieque says:

    Don’t wait until you’re too old to run or sprint or your eyes have gone cloudy and can no longer see the sharpness of the stars, or your bones too brittle to be able to lie down in that field or pathway.
    As you grow older (and wiser) you will learn to care less of what others think of you. It’s your life and you need to live it. Don’t regret living because of others’ thinking. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  4. raibaker says:

    hey Zee, I hope you reach a place where you allow yourself to be free to be your me – to run wild and free or lie still star gazing in a spacious place…
    the fact that you can share your dreams in words online is astounding… far more open and brave than lying in the dark on an isolated road watching the heavens move slowly over you…(which I too have enjoyed – although on a roundabout not the road!) so I reckon you could go for it! ;-D Jump! run! Dance! Be free to be your very special and unique self Zee xxx we love you xxx and we can see you doing it already – thanks to your words

    Liked by 2 people

    • lifeconfusions says:

      Hey there Rai, Thank you so much for all the love and support. A roundabout sounds good to me, I guess I can try that as well… 😉

      Thanks for taking time to read and share your uplifting thoughts with me. Your comment put a huge smile on my face ❤

      Have an amazing weekend 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. sweetykannoth says:

    It is our life..and we have but one…so sometimes you just need to take a break zee , for a change , not let ourselves be affected by what others think..I think it is ok to be mad , to be crazy sometimes..to let go of all sense of what should be or should not be!! Here is a link to a poem I wrote sometimes back.. on the same lines…hope you like it :

    http://sweetykannoth.wordpress.com/2014/10/03/life-is-short-be-mad-be-crazy/

    Take care…Loads of love

    Liked by 1 person

    • lifeconfusions says:

      Hey there Sweety, Thank you so much for you inspiring words. You are right, sometimes we do need to let go. it’s never as easy as it sounds but as I said all we can do is try.

      Thanks for sharing your poem with me, I’ll check it out ❤

      Have a great weekend 🙂 ❤

      Like

  6. Mabel Kwong says:

    Zee, I want to come over and give you a big, big, big hug! 😦 It’s easy to say ‘don’t care what others think’…but sometimes that can get in our way. Like when we’re looking for a job, potential employers will be judging us at the interview…

    …but really, who cares? Those who really care about us won’t judge us 🙂 The more we worry, the more we hurt ourselves.

    The first step into being more confident and comfortable and be less stressed it to love our self. Don’t be afraid to admit our fears to ourselves. And be writing this post you have done that and shared your fears with us. “heaving chest in sweet agony” – LOVE that phrase ❤ Keep writing 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • lifeconfusions says:

      Awwh this is so very sweet of you Mabel, You absolutely made my day with this comment. Thank you so much for your uplifting words ❤

      'The more we worry the more we hurt hurt ourselves', That is so true and I have learned that lesson now. It's not easy to keep my head above the water but I'm gonna try. Thanks again for taking time to read and leave this awesome comment with me ❤

      Like

  7. pixie says:

    It’s so human to care Zee, it’s ok. I think part of growing up is learning how to be safe in our own skin, say what we really think without being afraid. But it takes years and years to achieve. Each time we practice doing what we believe in, even if it is small, we gain a little more confidence. Your blog is a wonderful beginning

    Liked by 1 person

  8. PsiFiGal says:

    It is part of the human condition that we care what others think of us. We all judge each other, it’s just the way it is. The hard part is trying to live for yourself, not what others want you to be, and to try to not judge others negatively. It is hard to do and we all struggle with it. If you have no cultural or physical things stopping you from running, I say go for it!! I wish I could run, I used to love the feel of the ground rushing beneath my feet. The exhilaration! Run while you’re still young and able. But I would stay away from lying down in the middle of roads, safety first! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • lifeconfusions says:

      I guess you are right Mary,It’s part of our human experience to go through all that and most probably come out more stronger on the other side and it helps us grow. 🙂

      Thank you so much for you supportive words, I will run, I will do it for sure, gotta do it while I can. And don’t worry if I ever lay on the road I’ll make sure it’s safe ! 😉

      Have an awesome weekend Mary ❤

      Like

  9. Tony Single says:

    Other people’s voices are so limiting, real or imagined. I can totally see what you’re saying here. I say run. Run until you’re forced to stop. And even then, just run anyway. (Now, all I need to do is take my own advice too…)

    Liked by 1 person

    • lifeconfusions says:

      Awh Thanks a lot Tony. One day I swear I’m gonna run, run like my life depends on it ! And I’m not going to stop until I reach a huge meadow and then I’m gonna fall there like nothing else in the world matters 🙂

      Cheers to both of us doing it 🙂 ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  10. weight2lose2013 says:

    Everyone loves Zee, so don’t worry about what people would think. I like the things that you are going to do. I once had a late night performance at a club 3 hours away from where I lived. On the way home, I got out of my car and was lying down in the middle of a highway staring at the stars. Then the thought occurred that this may not be the safest idea that I’ve come up with, so I jumped back in my car and drove home. So, please make sure that you don’t choose a busy road to look at the stars at night. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • lifeconfusions says:

      Awwh you are the sweetest ever Rob ! ❤ I won't go as far as to say that everybody loves Zee, but I'll happily settle on few who do 🙂

      And hey don't you worry about, I'm gonna make sure it's safe, no matter what I say I love my life 😀 lol

      Liked by 1 person

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