Daily post ‘s “The Ghosts in Your Dashboard“ asked us to look into drafts section of our blog and see if we can find any unfinished or unpublished posts. I don’t usually write any posts before hand, save them as draft and then post them later. I write at the same moment as I post them. It was a surprise to see a draft in my posts section when I opened it. And this is the ‘ghost’ I found resting there. I had written it on Oct 11,2013 at 10:59 am to be precise. But what’s more surprising is, it is EXACTLY how I feel right now. It fits perfectly to my present condition. WordPress Gods really have superpowers I guess. So here is the piece.
Numb…I kept telling myself to be numb.
My mind kept drifting off to that day as I rested my head on the window pane of my bus and some tears welled up in my eyes but I told myself to be numb. Don’t cry. Don’t think about it. Even if you do come to think about it, Be numb. I kept telling myself this as the morning sun threw its warm rays on my face.
After all my life enduring the pain of other people shits, crying a river and depressing myself too much.
I’ve decided to be numb. Pain is too much to bear for me now. My eyes are tired of crying buckets of tears. It’s a surprise to me that my eyes are still capable of tearing up.
Not anymore. I’m not going to feel this shit anymore. I’m done. Be Numb, is my new mantra.