Describe the last time you were surprised by the intensity of a feeling you had about something, or were surprised at how strongly you reacted to something you thought wouldn’t be a big deal.
The other day I was goofing around with my friends, we are seven in number, quite a large group we have, yeah I know!
Along the way, just between the lines, playfully, between cracking jokes one of my very good friend said that I’m a little clever (She meant that NOT in a good way). I was a little taken aback by her revelation.
I obviously ignored it superficially but it was on my mind all day long, it still is and I think it always will be. She is kind of one of my best friends from that group and for her to think of me like that was a surprise (and not a good one!). I’ve to admit it did hurt me deeply. I’as really surprised by how intense I felt about it.
It is true to some extent that friends can tell you things that you may miss in your personality. They can help you to be a better person. They can help you to improve yourself.
But it is a fact as well that, who knows you better than yourself??? No matter how close the other person is to you, they can’t know you better than yourself. If you look a little closely, dig a little deeper within yourself you’ll see the real you. You’ll see who you really are. No matter what others say, you know yourself better than others.
I’ve always wondered this all my life, Why do people always fail to see the Real Me? Yes I admit I can be a little quite at times, I don’t express my feelings that vigorously, my words are sometimes not that explainable and my actions are not that understandable but they are always with a good intent in my heart. That doesn’t give anybody a right to judge me. Does it?
Nobody in my life has ever been able to see the Real Me, Except maybe my dad to some extent and my best friend ‘S’. But why do other people fail to see the real me???
Yes I can “seem” to be a little distant at times, I can “seem” to come out as being cold but why don’t they look around that exterior and see ME. The compassionate, kind and a very sensitive Me.
The Me who cries about as little thing as seeing a frail boy selling flowers on the road. The Me who cries on watching a beautiful scenery. The Me who cries when somebody calls her selfish.
The Me who cares about showing kindness. The Me who cares about their every problem. The Me whose heart aches for when I see them suffering. The Me who cries for them in the dark.
The Me who may not show them how much I love them but really care for them deep down in my heart.
Is it so much to ask to see the real me? Is it that hard?
I’ve come to a conclusion though, It is always going to hurt me when people will judge me, when people will fail to see the real me. But I can’t really do anything about it.
What matters is that I’m happy with who I am. I’m glad that when I look inside myself I see a good person. I see exactly the person I wanna be.
I guess that gives me hope. Maybe someday, someone will come along who will see me for who I am. Take a one look at me and understand all the things unsaid.
But that day, that someone has not come yet. That day is not today. Today I’ll be hurting…